Am I Sinful For Fantasizing About Haram?
Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad
Question
I used to fantasize that this boy would say something nice to me on Valentine’s Day. I knew that this fantasy was wrong to daydream about, but I don’t think I exactly knew that the day was a celebration of Non-Muslims, after all, the day has its origins from Greek mythology and Greek gods. You see, my mother had also given me Valentine’s cards when I was young, and my father had given my mother a present for the occasion too.
The second question concerns mistletoes on Christmas. If two people find themselves under the mistletoe, they kiss. I had the fantasy that this would also happen to me.
So, if these thoughts come to my mind, and I try to repel them, there is no sin on me, is that correct?
Answer
Thank you for your question. It is not exactly sinful that you fantasized about a boy because this is a natural desire. But bringing thoughts of romantic fantasies (outside of marriage) over and over is sinful so I suggest that you cease before it becomes a habit. Also, you should try to empty your mind from the mindless unIslamic holidays that you mention, which only exist now as commercial holidays to exact money from consumers.
The better thing for you to do is stop those fantastical romantic thoughts and put your efforts into learning and applying your religion to the best of your ability so you can use your practice of Islam to make you a better wife. Always have a goal and renew your intention every day to work toward it.
Also, focus on your studies, and if it is summertime, pick up a beneficial hobby or skill to keep you busy. When you fall asleep at night, instead of daydreaming, make dhikr in your mind and contemplate the creation of Allah and the purpose behind this world. Spend your free time with religious friends and family that are a good influence and bring out your best self. May Allah give you the best in this world and the next.
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria, for two years, where she studied Aqidah, Fiqh, Tajweed, Tafseer, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Master’s in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan, where she studied Fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She recently moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.
