Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad
I have feelings for a person, but he’s currently not a Muslim. He believes in the ideologies of Islam and is going to revert. He is learning duas and dhikrs and will soon learn to pray. I told my parents about him, but they disapproved of this. They consider this relationship haram even if he becomes Muslim. What should I do? Am I doing something haram?
Thank you for your question. May Allah reward you for your sincerity; there is no sin in planning to accept the proposal of a man after he converts.
Given the considerations in such cases, we urge you to consult reliable local scholars about the situation’s specifics.
Your parents might be telling you it is haram to be in a relationship before marriage, but you said you merely have feelings for him. I commend you for keeping your distance and waiting for him to convert instead of being in a relationship with him now. This requires a mountain of patience.
I encourage you to pray istikhara and marry him for religion as the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) taught us: “A woman is married for four things: for her wealth, for her lineage, for her beauty or her piety. Select the pious, may you be blessed!” [Bukhari; Muslim]
The above hadith applies to both genders. Please use the resources here at Seekers to help him convert and learn about the religion.
Please see these links as well:
- Can I Marry a Man Who Converted to Islam for Me?
- Can I Marry Someone Who Is Ready to Accept Islam for Marriage?
- Marrying a Potential Convert: Supplication, the Prayer of Guidance, and Following Allah’s Guidance
- Should I Marry a Man Ready to Convert to Islam For Me?
- How Can I Tell the Man I Love to Convert to Marry Me?
- New to Islam Reader: A Trusted Collection of Resources for Converts
May Allah give you the best of this world and the next.
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria, for two years, where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, tafsir, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin and completed her Master’s in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan, where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She later moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.