How Can I Heal and Move Forward if My Religious Upbringing Has Damaged My Faith?
Answered by Shaykh Irshaad Sedick
Question
Being withdrawn from school for religious studies harmed my faith and education — how can I heal and move forward Islamically?
Answer
In the Name of Allah, the Most Merciful and Compassionate.
May Allah grant you ease. Healing from religious harm requires both psychological and spiritual support, pursued as distinct endeavours. Most importantly, it requires learning to separate Islam itself from the failures of those who claimed to represent it.
Seek Psychological Support
Seeking psychological support is not taboo for a Muslim — it is a responsible and necessary step. Where possible, seek out a God-fearing Muslim counsellor who can guide you in a way that is both therapeutically sound and spiritually aware. Psychological support and spiritual support are separate endeavours, and both are needed.
Rebuild Your Spiritual Relationship with Allah Most High
Spiritual healing means actively maintaining and rebuilding your relationship with Allah Most High — not out of fear or obligation alone, but through genuine knowledge of who Allah is. Engage with authentic Islamic knowledge under qualified teachers. Learn to understand Allah Most High so that you can come to love Him. And know that He already loves you.
Separate Islam from the Behaviour of Its Followers
This is perhaps the most important step. Make it a primary task to separate the beauty of Islam from the bad practices of those who claim to follow it. Human beings are weak — Allah Most High Himself says this — and they do not always live up to the standards Islam sets. This does not excuse wrongdoing, but it means that the failures of particular people who claim to practice Islam are not a reflection of Islam itself.
We say to those outside the faith: do not judge Islam by the behaviour of some of its followers. The same principle applies within the community. Do not judge the religion by the oppression or abuse of those you happened to encounter who claimed to be practising it.
The reality is that many Muslims are deeply harmed in their upbringing — sometimes by parents, sometimes by teachers — and this is a painful truth. But this is not something unique to Muslims or to Islam. It is a universal human problem, rooted in the weakness of the self, the reality of evil, and the influence of Shaytan. Islam actively seeks to remove these harms from individuals and from society.
A Path Forward
Seek the counselling you need. Seek the therapy you need. Pursue both actively. At the same time, seek to understand the meaning of your relationship with Allah Most High. Learn to love Him and to know Him — and know that this love is already there on His side, waiting for you to turn toward it.
And Allah knows best.
[Shaykh] Irshaad Sedick
Related Answers
- How Can I Feel Safe as a New Muslim After Being Involved in an Abusive Church? — Guidance for someone whose experience of a controlling religious environment has damaged their ability to trust, with practical steps for rebuilding a sound and loving relationship with Allah Most High.
- A Traumatic Childhood: Turning to Allah in Difficult Times — Compassionate guidance on carrying the weight of a painful upbringing, with spiritual counsel on turning to Allah Most High as the source of healing when human relationships have caused harm.
- How Can I Reconcile with Past Abuse and Move Forward Islamically? — Practical Islamic guidance on moving forward after harm caused by a parent or elder, including the importance of seeking knowledge, maintaining prayer and remembrance, and relying on Allah Most High at every step.
- Do I Have to Forgive the Man Who Abused Me as a Child? — A careful ruling on the relationship between forgiveness and healing, drawing on the Quran and Sunna to show that seeking Allah’s mercy and working toward one’s own healing are primary obligations.
Shaykh Irshaad Sedick was raised in South Africa in a traditional Muslim family. He graduated from Dar al-Ulum al-Arabiyyah al-Islamiyyah in Strand, Western Cape, under the guidance of the late world-renowned scholar Shaykh Taha Karaan (Allah have mercy on him), who taught there.
Shaykh Irshaad received Ijaza from many luminaries of the Islamic world, including Shaykh Taha Karaan, Shaykh Muhammad Awama, Shaykh Muhammad Hasan Hitu, and Mawlana Abdul Hafeez Makki, among others.
He is the author of the text “The Musnad of Ahmad ibn Hanbal: A Hujjah or not?” He has been the Director of the Discover Islam Center and, for 6 years, the Khatib of Masjid Ar-Rashideen in Mowbray, Cape Town.
Shaykh Irshaad has 15 years of teaching experience at some of Cape Town’s leading Islamic institutes. He is currently building an Islamic podcast, education, and media platform called ‘Isnad Academy’ and has completed his Master’s degree in the study of Islam at the University of Johannesburg. He has a keen interest in healthy Prophetic living and fitness.
