Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad
I am an 18-year-old girl in college, and I just basically lost one of my best friends. I was already feeling lonely before I lost her, but now I feel even more alone because I don’t have her anymore, and I don’t have many friends. I seem to be unable to make friends here in college.
For some time, I have been longing for a husband, but my parents say I’m not ready. I feel ready myself, and I just want to get married so badly because I long to have an amazing guy who loves and cares about me, and I long to have many children. I don’t know what to do. I feel so alone and hopeless; every day, I feel miserable.
Thank you for your question. May Allah reward you for wanting what is right for you according to Islam and for not seeking the impermissible, and I pray that Allah removes your loneliness.
I empathize with your pain of losing a best friend, but you must be positive and move forward. Start with making the Quran your best friend and turn with your entire being to Allah Most High. Ask Allah to send you company and make dua sincerely for it. There may be some hidden wisdom in losing your friend, and you must trust your Lord by showing patience.
As for a husband, have patience and perseverance, and the time will come, and, in sha’ Allah, you will find a pious spouse. Make dua for this as well, and ask Allah to send you someone who is pious, in the best time, in the best way, and be prepared for marriage by having taken a course on it with us.
Take steps to seek what you need. Attend your local mosque, religious gatherings, and events and surround yourself with people in the places that benefit you the most. Don’t be shy, invite people over and never think that people don’t want to be friends with you. They do. Be positive. Join a beneficial club, sport, hobby or group where you can flourish, do something you enjoy and learn, or even better, serve others by volunteering at a charity or mosque. The doors to open are endless if you just look for them.
Make this your standard when you seek out new friends: Mu’adh bin Jabal narrated that the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) said: “Allah, the Mighty and Sublime, said: ‘Those who love each other for the sake of My Majesty shall be upon podiums of light, and they will be admired by the Prophets and the martyrs.’” [Tirmidhi]
Please see the tips in these links as well:
- What Are the Qualities of a Friend?
- How Can I Overcome Loneliness and Make Friends?
- Bringing Barakah Into Your Wealth and Life
May Allah give you the best of this world and the next.
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria, for two years, where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, tafsir, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin and completed her Master’s in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan, where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She later moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.