How Can I Stop the Haram Pakistani Customs at My Wedding?
Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad
Question
My wedding is coming up soon. Initially, I had not realized all the impermissible customs we were going to perform. We have a mehndi event (henna party) where songs will play. How do I stop this now as it is difficult to convince my parents and extended family that it is impermissible in Islam? I will most likely be humiliated by them.
Answer
Thank you for your question. I empathize with your frustration and I pray that you can do your best regarding convincing your family.
Tips
‘A’isha reported the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) as saying, “The marriage which produces the most blessing is that which involves the least burden.” [Bayhaqi]
The best tips are below in the links, but here are a few more:
- Bring a collection of halal nasheeds to play at the mehendi.
- Don’t dance to the songs unless they are your nasheeds.
- Lower your gaze from the opposite gender.
- Don’t touch the opposite gender.
- Make du`a that Allah facilitates for you a way to eliminate these things.
- Plan to leave the wedding right after the formalities so you can limit how long you have to be in that setting.
- Give charity before and after and make tawba to Allah for the haram that was there.
- Ask Allah not to take the blessings out of your marriage because of the haram.
- Intend to throw a halal wedding for your own kids, in sha’ Allah.
Please see these links as well:
- Marriage in Islam: Practical Guidance for Successful Marriage. [Highly Recommended Course]
- How Can I Convince My Parents To Plan My Wedding in a Halal Way?
- If Sinful Actions Happen At the Wedding, Is the Marriage Still Valid?
- What is Extravagance (Israf) in a Wedding Celebration?
May Allah give you the best of this world and the next.
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria, for two years, where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, tafsir, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin and completed her Master’s in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan, where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She later moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.
