How Does the Prophet’s Love for A’isha Accord with Justice between Wives?
Answered by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Question
The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) openly named A’isha (Allah be pleased with her) as the most beloved to him, and people sent gifts on her day, which caused some bitterness. How does this accord with the justice between wives that Islam requires, and with Islam’s concern to prevent bitterness?
Answer
In the Name of Allah, the Merciful and Compassionate.
These are sincere questions, and asking them with care is itself praiseworthy — may Allah increase you in understanding.
The Quranic Distinction Between Conduct and the Heart
The key is a distinction the Quran itself draws: the justice required between wives is in what a person controls, not in the heart’s involuntary inclination. Allah Most High says, “You will never be able to show perfect fairness between wives no matter how keenly you want to; so incline not so completely towards one that you neglectfully leave the other one hanging.” [Quran 4:129; Keller, The Quran Beheld]
The obligation, then, is equality in conduct — time, provision, outward kindness — while the heart’s leaning is not something one is held to account for, so long as it does not lead to wronging anyone.
The Prophet’s Perfect Justice in Conduct
By this measure, the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) was perfectly just. He divided his time and care equally among his wives, and would say, in essence, that this was his division in what he owned, asking not to be blamed for what Allah owned and he did not — meaning the heart. His love for A’isha (Allah be pleased with her) never once led him to deny another wife her rights.
On the Gifts Sent on Aisha’s Day
People would send them on Aisha’s day out of their own love for him, and the matter was in fact raised by his wives and addressed by him with wisdom and gentleness, as the reports preserve. Far from licensing favoritism, his example is precisely what establishes the binding rule for men after him: equal and just treatment of every wife, while recognizing that the heart cannot be compelled. The episodes were preserved so the Umma would learn how to navigate exactly these feelings.
Justice in Conduct, the Heart with Allah
Fairness is owed in action, and the heart’s love is Allah’s to apportion. There is no conflict here with Islam’s call to prevent harm: the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) both upheld justice and tended to his wives’ feelings. If the matter still unsettles you, take it to a teacher who can walk you through the specific reports.
And Allah knows best.
[Shaykh] Faraz Rabbani
Related Answers
- How Could the Prophet Have a Favorite Wife When Wives Should Be Treated Equally?
- Was the Prophet (Peace Be upon Him) Fair with His Wives?
- Why Did the Messenger of Allah Love Aisha the Most?
Shaykh Faraz Rabbani is a recognized specialist scholar in the Islamic sciences, having studied under leading scholars from around the world. He is the Founder and Executive Director of SeekersGuidance.
Shaykh Faraz stands as a distinguished figure in Islamic scholarship. His journey in seeking knowledge is marked by dedication and depth. He spent ten years studying under some of the most revered scholars of our times. His initial studies took place in Damascus. He then continued in Amman, Jordan.
In Damascus, he was privileged to learn from the late Shaykh Adib al-Kallas. Shaykh Adib al-Kallas was renowned as the foremost theologian of his time. Shaykh Faraz also studied under Shaykh Hassan al-Hindi in Damascus. Shaykh Hassan is recognized as one of the leading Hanafi jurists of our era.
Upon completing his studies, Shaykh Faraz returned to Canada in 2007. His return marked a new chapter in his service to the community. He founded SeekersGuidance. The organization reflects his commitment to spreading Islamic knowledge. It aims to be reliable, relevant, inspiring, and accessible. This mission addresses both online and on-the-ground needs.
Shaykh Faraz is also an accomplished author. His notable work includes “Absolute Essentials of Islam: Faith, Prayer, and the Path of Salvation According to the Hanafi School,” published by White Thread Press in 2004, which is a significant contribution to Islamic literature.
His influence extends beyond his immediate community. Since 2011, Shaykh Faraz has been recognized as one of the 500 most influential Muslims. This recognition comes from the Royal Islamic Strategic Studies Center. It underscores his impact on the global Islamic discourse.
Shaykh Faraz Rabbani’s life and work embody a profound commitment to Islamic scholarship. His teachings continue to enlighten and guide seekers of knowledge worldwide.
