How to Deal with a Heartbreak and Betrayal in Relationship?

Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad

Question

I was in a relationship with someone who promised to marry me, but he didn’t. Does Allah forgive every sin, no matter what it is? I regret everything I did. I pray every day and make du’a every day that Allah forgives me. I am terrified and confused. Can you guide me?

Answer

In the Name of Allah, Most Compassionate Most Merciful,

Be Glad It’s Over

First, let me congratulate you that you are no longer involved in this pre-marital relationship. It was wrong of you to give yourself emotionally, physically, and mentally to this man before marriage. Generally speaking, a man who wants to be with you before marriage is shallow and can only give you an empty promise. Thank Allah that you didn’t get pregnant, and thank Him for getting you out of this relationship because this man does not seem suitable for marriage, anyways.

Does Allah Forgive Every Sin?

The Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “Allah, Blessed is He and Most High, said, ‘O son of Adam! Verily as long as you called upon Me and hoped in Me, I forgave you, despite whatever may have occurred from you, and I did not mind. O son of Adam! Were your sins to reach the clouds of the sky, then you sought forgiveness from Me, I would forgive you, and I would not mind. O son of Adam! If you came to Me with sins nearly as great as the earth, and then you met Me not associating anything with Me, I would come to you with forgiveness nearly as great as it.’” [Tirmidhi]

Abu Huraira narrated, “I heard the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) saying, “If somebody commits a sin and then says, ‘O my Lord! I have sinned, please forgive me! ‘and his Lord says, ‘My slave has known that he has a Lord who forgives sins and punishes for it; I, therefore, have forgiven my slave (his sins). ‘Then he remains without committing any sin for a while and then again commits another sin and says, ‘O my Lord, I have committed another sin, please forgive me, ‘and Allah says, ‘My slave has known that he has a Lord who forgives sins and punishes for it, I, therefore, have forgiven my slave (his sin). ‘Then he remains without Committing any another sin for a while and then commits another sin (for the third time) and says, ‘O my Lord, I have committed another sin, please forgive me, ‘and Allah says, ‘My slave has known that he has a Lord Who forgives sins and punishes for it I, therefore, have forgiven My slave (his sin), he can do whatever he likes.’” [Bukhari]

In short, there is no sin that Allah Most High does not forgive while you are alive. He, Most High, even forgive shirk (associating partners with Allah) when a person converts to Islam. Rest assured that Allah is there to hear your tawba, so take advantage of it.

Learn from This

This kind of painful experience that you have had can help you in a great many ways. This pain pushes one towards Allah for tawba and increases your reliance on Him. This pain teaches you to guard your heart and only give it to your husband. This pain will make you wiser, more patient, more contemplative, and more careful. Channel this pain into prayer and du’a. Turn to Allah Most High with all of your obligations, and learn your personally obligatory knowledge to serve yourself and your hereafter better.

May Allah give you the best and provide you with relief. Please see the following links on repentance for more information.
A Reader on Tawba (Repentance)
What Are the Conditions of Making Tawba? (Transcript) – Ustadh Abdullah Misra

[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria for two years where she studied aqida, fiqh, tajweed, tafsir, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Masters in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She later moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.