Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad
My husband and I were friends before we got married. He is financially less well off than my parents. I married him because I was scared I wouldn’t find anyone with the same understanding. I keep having doubts about whether I made a mistake because now my life is not as comfortable as it used to be, and my husband’s behavior has changed a little. I tell myself that if Allah didn’t want this marriage to occur, it would not have happened. Am I right, or did I make a big mistake?
I empathize with the discomfort and new lifestyle you have to get used to, but I commend that you married this person for religion; I believe you will prosper.
I believe it would be flaky to leave your husband on this unless he refuses to earn when he can. A man’s religion is more important than money, which will benefit him in the long run. If his behavior has changed toward you, you need to work on this marriage and reconnect with how you once did, which is a separate issue.
Also, remember that newlywed couples usually have a delicate financial state as wealth and stable incomes build up over the years. Don’t expect it to be like this forever. You can do some things to pick up extra cash, and many a wife has taken it upon herself to have a side hustle to give herself pocket money. Check out these ideas:
A better option might be to complete your education and start working if you want. Perhaps you can stop when the children come or switch to part-time. I don’t think you should accept being poor, but if he can give you the basics without luxury comforts, I think you can get used to it. If you have a financial goal, sit down with him and plan it out. You can get there.
Finally, I recommend a budgeting program. budget boot camp This one has helped thousands of people and has even taught people how to save on groceries and make food stretch. It will be worthwhile to switch to a different mindset and learn how to use what you have effectively and efficiently.
Please recall this hadith as well. The Prophet (Allah bless him and grant him peace) “Perform Hajj and ‘Umra consecutively; for they remove poverty and sin as the bellows remove impurity from iron.” [Nasa’i]
May Allah reward you for your patience and make it easier with time.
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria for two years where she studied aqida, fiqh, tajweed, tafsir, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Masters in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She later moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.