Is It Arrogance for a Muslim Woman to Prefer Monogamy While Recognizing Polygamy’s Permissibility?
Answered by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Question
Is it arrogance (takabbur) for a woman to prefer monogamy and dislike being in a polygamous marriage, while accepting its permissibility in Islam and respecting those who choose it?
Answer
In the Name of Allah, the Merciful and Compassionate.
May Allah keep you in well-being and faith. Thank you for reaching out with your question.
Preferring monogamy is not arrogance. It is simply choosing what you feel is best for yourself, within what Allah has permitted.
Arrogance, or takabbur, in our religion is to reject the truth or to refuse to submit to what Allah Most High has made lawful and wise.
Your situation is not one of arrogance. You accept that Allah Most High has made polygamy lawful, and you respect those who choose it. Yet you prefer monogamy for yourself. This is not pride. Rather, it is knowing yourself and acting with honesty.
In the Hanafi school, a woman may make monogamy a promissory condition in her marriage agreement. This is a valid and recognized promise she can seek from the person she is considering marrying. You can find further details in the SeekersGuidance Answers.
Arrogance and Preference
True arrogance would be to look down on others for their choices, or to think yourself better for preferring monogamy.
But your preference, when it is based on self-knowledge and respect for what Allah has made lawful, is free of arrogance and is not a sign of weak faith.
Your Right, Your Wisdom
Allah Most High has granted you clarity about yourself. This is a blessing. Be honest and clear about your preference for monogamy before marriage. The right partner will respect this. Trust that Allah will bless what brings goodness to your faith and your family.
And Allah knows best.
[Shaykh] Faraz Rabbani
Related Answers
- Women’s Contractual Rights in Islamic Marriage
- Polygamy in Islam: Conditions and Fairness
- Arrogance as a Spiritual Disease
- Setting Boundaries With Integrity
Shaykh Faraz Rabbani is a recognized specialist scholar in the Islamic sciences, having studied under leading scholars from around the world. He is the Founder and Executive Director of SeekersGuidance.
Shaykh Faraz stands as a distinguished figure in Islamic scholarship. His journey in seeking knowledge is marked by dedication and depth. He spent ten years studying under some of the most revered scholars of our times. His initial studies took place in Damascus. He then continued in Amman, Jordan.
In Damascus, he was privileged to learn from the late Shaykh Adib al-Kallas. Shaykh Adib al-Kallas was renowned as the foremost theologian of his time. Shaykh Faraz also studied under Shaykh Hassan al-Hindi in Damascus. Shaykh Hassan is recognized as one of the leading Hanafi jurists of our era.
Upon completing his studies, Shaykh Faraz returned to Canada in 2007. His return marked a new chapter in his service to the community. He founded SeekersGuidance. The organization reflects his commitment to spreading Islamic knowledge. It aims to be reliable, relevant, inspiring, and accessible. This mission addresses both online and on-the-ground needs.
Shaykh Faraz is also an accomplished author. His notable work includes “Absolute Essentials of Islam: Faith, Prayer, and the Path of Salvation According to the Hanafi School,” published by White Thread Press in 2004, which is a significant contribution to Islamic literature.
His influence extends beyond his immediate community. Since 2011, Shaykh Faraz has been recognized as one of the 500 most influential Muslims. This recognition comes from the Royal Islamic Strategic Studies Center. It underscores his impact on the global Islamic discourse.
Shaykh Faraz Rabbani’s life and work embody a profound commitment to Islamic scholarship. His teachings continue to enlighten and guide seekers of knowledge worldwide.
