Should I Re-establish Ties with an Old Friend in Dhu al-Hijja?
Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad
Question
I cut ties with an old high school friend after discovering that he had been speaking very poorly about me to a girl he knew wanted to marry me. He had been entirely two-faced with me. We would regularly hang out, and he never indicated that he had a low opinion of me and had been sharing it with this girl. I was also upset because he was right about some of the things he said. I confronted him when I found out, and he teared up, and half apologized for a few things he said. After that, he reached out multiple times two years ago, but I did not resume our friendship because I did not feel I could trust him again.
Answer
Thank you for your question. May Allah reward you for your sincerity during the month of Dhu al-Hijja, and may He make you as good of a friend as you want others to be to you.
Brotherhood
The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “Do not cut off one another, nor desert one another, nor hate one another, nor envy one another. Be you, O worshippers of Allah, brothers. It is not lawful for the Muslim to shun his brother for more than three (days).” [Tirmidhi]
Dhul Hijja
The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) also said, “There are no days in which righteous deeds are more beloved to Allah than in these (ten) days.” [Abu Dawud]
Based on the two hadiths above, I highly encourage you to bring him back to your life, and there is no better time than these blessed days. Display good character with him and perhaps don’t get as close to him as before, but do forgive, hoping that Allah will forgive you on a day when that will be the only thing we need.
Forgiveness
The great companion and leader of the believers, ‘Umar ibn al Khattab (Allah be pleased with him) said: “Anyone who does not show mercy will not be shown mercy. Anyone who does not forgive will not be forgiven. Anyone who does not pardon will not be pardoned or protected.” [Bukhari, Adab al-Mufrad]
Please see these links as well:
Is it Obligatory to Forgive Others? How to Deal with Abusive Family Members?
Is It Sinful To Not Forgive Others?
How Should You Deal with Someone Who Is Unjust and Disrespectful to You?
May Allah give you the best of this world and the next.
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria, for two years, where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, tafsir, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin and completed her Master’s in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan, where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She later moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.
