What Do I Do as a 14-Year-Old Convert Who Gets Beaten for Praying?
Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad
Question
I am a 14-year-old living with an Islamophobic parent who beats me for praying. Today, I got up 10 minutes after Fajr. There’s a security camera in my room, and I can’t have an alarm clock.
I always try to pray on time and haven’t missed a prayer deliberately. I fear I was awake before Fajr ended but too tired to get up.
I feel guilty and promise never to delay Fajr if fully awake.
Answer
Thank you for your question. I admire your strength, fortitude, and determination, and I pray that Allah Most High makes it easy for you to practice. If you feel that your parents are physically abusing you to the point that you need protection, don’t hesitate to call the police.
Prayer
Your reward will be commensurate with your trial. The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said,
“The greatest reward comes with the greatest trial. When Allah loves a people He tests them. Whoever accepts that wins His pleasure but whoever is discontent with that earns His wrath.” [Ibn Majah]
Derive strength from this verse,
“O you who believe, seek help through patience and prayer. Surely, Allah is with those who are patient.” [Quran, 2:153]
I encourage you to practice as best you can and minimize problems by praying secretly or quietly when you can and even praying in the bathroom if necessary.
You are not obliged to throw Islam in their faces and deal with their anger at every prayer. Make dua for ease and pray for their guidance; I am confident that time will wear away their anger, and they will accept you for who you are. In the end, their hearts may open up, too.
Find Solace
Allah (Most High) has told us in the Quran,
“And they are those who endure patiently, seeking their Lord’s pleasure, establish prayer, donate from what We have provided for them—secretly and openly—and respond to evil with good. It is they who will have the ultimate abode: the Gardens of Eternity, which they will enter along with the righteous among their parents, spouses, and descendants. And the angels will enter upon them from every gate, saying, “Peace be upon you for your perseverance. How excellent is the ultimate abode!” [Quran, 13:22-24]
Don’t worry about missing the Fajr prayer; it is not sinful if you oversleep unintentionally. Do your best and ask Allah (Most High) to send an angel to wake you up. Make the prayer up and make this dua daily:
رَبِّ ٱجْعَلْنِى مُقِيمَ ٱلصَّلَوٰةِ وَمِن ذُرِّيَّتِى ۚ رَبَّنَا وَتَقَبَّلْ دُعَآءِ
“My Lord! Make me and those (believers) of my descendants keep up prayer. Our Lord! Accept my prayers.” [Quran, 14:40]
Please see these excellent tips from converts and others:
- Can I Pray in the Toilet Out of Necessity?
- A Convert Dealing with Non-Muslim Parents
- How Should I as a Convert Deal with My Non-Muslim Parents?
- Dealing With Non-Muslim Parents (II)
- New Converts: Do What You Can, but Strive to Do Better
- New to Islam Reader: A Trusted Collection of Resources for Converts
May Allah give you the best of this world and the next.
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria for two years where she studied aqida, fiqh, tajweed, tafsir, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Masters in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She later moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.
