Answered by Shaykh Farid Dingle

Question: Assalamu alaykum

Muslims are expected to take the means to assess whether someone is suitable for marriage and in that limited interaction make what seems like the biggest commitment or contract in our life.

In an arranged marriage setting, this usually means meeting the person 3 or 4 times, asking some basic and hypothetical questions and then making a decision on suitability. How much can one know about a person from meeting them 3 or 4 times? How should one make full use of that limited interaction to assess suitability?

Answer: Wa alaykum assalam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,

You should meet as many times as you need. Often you can get a good idea from family members, colleagues and seniors.

As long as it doesn’t develop into a relationship, you can meet as many times as you feel you need. 3-4 is not a limit in the Sacred Law.

I hope this helps.

Wassalam,
[Shaykh] Farid Dingle

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Shaykh Farid Dingle grew up in a convert family in Herefordshire, UK. In 2007, he moved to Jordan to pursue traditional studies. Shaykh Farid continues to live in Amman, Jordan with his wife and kids. In addition to continuing his studies he teaches Arabic and several of the Islamic sciences.

Shaykh Farid began his journey in sacred knowledge with intensives in the UK and Jordan (2004) in Shafi’i fiqh and Arabic. After years of studying Arabic grammar, Shafi’i fiqh, hadith, legal methodology (usul al-fiqh) and tafsir, Sh. Farid began specializing in Arabic language and literature. Sh. Farid studied Pre-Islamic poetry, Umayyad, Abbasid, Fatimid, and Andalusian literature. He holds a BA in Arabic Language and Literature and continues exploring the language of the Islamic tradition.

In addition to his interest in the Arabic language Shaykh Farid actively researches matters related to jurisprudence (fiqh) which he studied with Shaykh Hamza Karamali, Shaykh Ahmad Hasanat, and continues with Shaykh Amjad Rasheed. 

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