Answered by Shaykh Jamir Meah

Question: Assalam Aleykum.

I told my husband about my hormonal issue, which I assumed was normal for most women. He feels I hid this from him and assumes this will affect my fertility. He says he wants to divorce me because he cannot trust me anymore. What should I do?  

Answer: Wa’alaykum assalam. Jazakum Allah khayran for writing to us. I’m sorry to hear about the difficulties you are facing in your marriage.

There seems to be two issues here that has upset your husband; the issue of not trusting you and that he thinks you may not be able to have children. Given what you have said, it does appear that your husband is being hasty in wanting to separate so easily without at least trying to work things out.

Mediation

It is very important that you get someone to mediate for you in your situation. Seek out a reliable family member on either or both sides, or a family friend, or a local scholar, and get them to speak to your husband to encourage him to work things out sensibly.

Perhaps consider seeking out further advice from another doctor so that you understand your situation better and explain to your husband.

Divorce

Your husband should not be hasty in seeking separation until you have discussed and explored everything properly. However, if he does divorces you, the divorce would come into effect, even if his reasoning for doing is without justification.

This may be difficult for you, so I ask you to be patient and turn to Allah, for He knows what you are going through and any unjustness caused to you will be compensated for and rewarded. Also, if your husband can be so hasty in wanting to separate from you without trying to understand the situation and considering things properly, including your feelings and situation, it may well be that Allah is saving you from being in a marriage which may present with further problems down the line. And Allah knows best.

Du’a and prayer

Make lots of du’a to Allah and ask him to grant you ease in your affairs. The following supplications will be useful:

اللّهُـمَّ رَحْمَتَـكَ أَرْجـوفَلا تَكِلـني إِلى نَفْـسي طَـرْفَةَ عَـيْن، وَأَصْلِـحْ لي شَأْنـي كُلَّـه لَا إِلَهَ إِلَّا أنْـت
O Allah, I hope for Your mercy. Do not leave me to myself even for the blinking of an eye (i.e. a moment). Correct all of my affairs for me. There is none worthy of worship but You.

[Abu Dawud]

اللهُ اللهُ رَبِّ لا أُشْـرِكُ بِهِ شَيْـئاً
Allah, Allah, my Lord, I do not associate anything with Him [Abu Dawud]

May Allah bring resolve to your situation and grant you a way out of every difficulty.

Warmest salams,

[Shaykh] Jamir Meah

Shaykh Jamir Meah grew up in Hampstead, London. In 2007, he traveled to Tarim, Yemen, where he spent nine years studying the Islamic sciences on a one-to-one basis under the foremost scholars of the Ribaat, Tarim, with a main specialization and focus on Shafi’i fiqh. In early 2016, he moved to Amman, Jordan, where he continues advanced studies in a range of Islamic sciences, as well as teaching. Jamir is a qualified homeopath.

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