Answered by Shaykh Faraz A. Khan
Question: A shaykh was talking about how a soul is cracked into two by Allah before being placed into the world. This then becomes a male and female, and when these two come together in marriage you find true sakinah and love. However sometime you may never find your other half or you may do but not you may never marry. This got me kind of confused as we know that Allah decides who you will end up being married and that whatever happens is the decree of Allah. So why would you not end up marrying the other half of your soul when true sakinah and love can only be found in it.
The reason I ask this is because there was a brother who was very compatible with a sister and she did not go through with the nikkah because she felt someone else may be this split soul of hers and she didn’t want to miss out on that.
Answer: Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatullah,
I pray this finds you in the best of health and states. I cannot comment on what was stated of the soul being split in two and then reunited in marriage, as I have not come across that in my studies nor heard that from any of my teachers.
Regarding the sister’s actions, it is also difficult to comment on her specific situation without full knowledge of what happened and her reasoning.
In general though, we can state that the Qur’an and Noble Sunna give clear criteria of what to look for in a spouse: sound religious practice, gracious character, to come from a good family, for a husband to be able to provide, etc.
To find a suitable spouse and then back out for no substantial reason, but rather due to ‘the possibility that the person was not my soul’s other half’, has no basis in the prophetic way. Rather one should consult people of wisdom and sound religious understanding, pray the istikhara prayer, and then move forward while relying on Allah Most High. If there is a substantial reason though, one should of course back out and also rely on Allah.
As our Master Ibn Ata’illah states regarding decisions not in accordance with the Noble Sunna, “Nothing moves you forward like delusion.” May Allah protect us and grant us tawfiq in all our affairs.
And Allah knows best.