Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad
I tell myself that if people don’t love me, it doesn’t matter because humans may love you today and not tomorrow according to their whims. But our Merciful Lord is not like that. I recall that Allah dislikes us when we commit sins. I want to have a really beautiful relationship with my Creator, but this just blocks me.
Thank you for your question.
I am so pleased that you are searching for a genuine relationship with your Lord, and you don’t need to worry about your sins. Rather, draw nearer to Him through your sins.
The bottom line is that Allah does not expect perfection from you, but He expects sincere repentance.
The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) has told us the status of a sinner: “Every son of Adam commits sin, and the best of those who commit sin are those who repent.” [Ibn Majah]
So, when you sin, don’t fear it, and don’t fear Allah disliking you, He only dislikes the deed, and He loves those who repent. Rather place your hope and trust in Allah and balance it with fear through taqwa (God-fearingness).
The best way to draw near to your Lord, in the way that you describe, is explained to us in this Hadith Qudsi:
“Allah, Mighty and Sublime be He, said, ‘Whosoever shows enmity to someone devoted to Me, I shall be at war with him. My servant draws not near to Me with anything more loved by Me than the religious duties I have enjoined upon him, and My servant continues to draw near to Me with supererogatory works so that I shall love him. When I love him, I am his hearing with which he hears, his seeing with which he sees, his hand with which he strikes, and his foot with which he walks. Were he to ask [something] of Me, I would surely give it to him, and were he to ask Me for refuge, I would surely grant him it. I do not hesitate about anything as much as I hesitate about [seizing] the soul of My faithful servant: he hates death and I hate hurting him.‘“ [Bukhari]
So, all in all, the ball is in your court, and you must use it to achieve your goals. Ask Allah to transform your heart, turn to Him in your entirety, learn your obligatory knowledge, apply prophetic guidance, and surround yourself with those who love Allah.
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Finally, find hope from this prophetic hadith: “Allah, the Exalted and Glorious, said, ‘I live in the thought of My servant and I am with him as he remembers Me. By Allah, Allah is more pleased with the repentance of His servant than what one of you would feel on finding the lost camel in the waterless desert. When he draws near Me by the span of his hand. I draw near him by the length of a cubit and when he draws near Me by the length of a cubit. I draw near him by the length of a fathom, and when he draws near Me walking, I draw close to him hurriedly.“ [Muslim]
May Allah give you the best of this world and the next.
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria, for two years, where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, Tafseer, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Master’s in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan, where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She recently moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.