How Do I Support My Husband’s Plans When He is Having Problems Finding Work?
Answered by Ustadha Zaynab Ansari Abdul-Razacq
Question: Assalamu Alaikum Wa Rahmatullahu Wa Barakatuhu
I got married overseas to my husband nearly a year ago who has just come over recently. We are living with my parents, and my husband finds it difficult. They mean no harm, but he adamantly wants to move out. But we don’t have much money. I am the only one working.
I don’t want him resenting me or my parents as they have been nothing but welcoming. We don’t have enough money to move out or look after ourselves at this stage and if we did we would both have to work.
Can someone please advise me on how to deal with this situation?
Answer: In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful
Praise be to Allah, Lord of the Worlds. May the peace and blessings of Allah descend on the Prophet Muhammad, his family, his companions, and all who follow them.
Dear Sister,
Assalamu alaikum,
Thank you for your question. I pray you are in good health and iman.
Try to put yourself in your husband’s shoes. He had to wait for a year to be with you and now that you are together, he does not even have a home for you. Try not to take his feelings towards the situation personally. Alhamdulillah for having such supportive parents, but you also need to support your husband’s plans. Don’t remind him that he can’t afford a house; surely he knows this. Do be encouraging and positive. Help him find employment. Maybe draw up a plan for saving if that is something he might respond to. Is there any possibility of your parents helping you get your first place? My point is: Be resourceful. Your husband wants to be a good provider and give his wife her own home. But also be patient. Ask Allah Ta’ala to bless your husband with a halal and satisfactory income.
Finally, please read Sidi Abdullah Anik Misra’s excellent answer on bringing blessings into one’s wealth.
Bringing Barakah Into One’s Wealth and Life
May Allah Ta’ala grant you provision,
Zaynab Ansari Abdul-Razacq
June 10, 2011/Rajab 9, 1432
