Answered by Ustadha Zaynab Ansari
Question: How should a child respond to smothering and help return confidence to a mother who may have themselves been through an emotionally abusive relationship?
Answer: Assalamu alaikum,
I pray this message finds you and your family well.
This is a difficult question and one that might require you and your mother to seek family counseling.
If you are an adult and this question is about your mother’s parenting style perhaps not adapting to your needs as an adult, then I have a few suggestions:
1. Try putting yourself in your mother’s shoes. Overprotectiveness is often instinctual in parents, particularly mothers. So, as much as possible, imagine the emotions your mother must be dealing with.
2. Be patient but also do what you need to function and create a healthy outlook on life. This will be especially important once you have children.
3. Since you know your mother best, find things to do to soothe her fears and build her confidence.
4. Last but not least, make a heartfelt dua (supplication to Allah) for your mother every morning and evening.