How to Handle Mean In-Laws?

Answered by Ustadh Tabraze Azam

Question

I have moved in with my husband and in-laws.

Since I moved in, my mother in law has been acting differently with me. She makes comments daily, usually saying that I can’t bring up my son properly.

My sister in law has periods where she won’t talk to me but I don’t know why.

I have asked to move out but have been told no. I feel as though I am sinking into depression and cannot see a way out.

Is there anything I can do?

Answer

I pray that this message finds you well, insha’Allah.

Continue praying the Prayer of Need (salat al-hajah) with sincerity and neediness, and give a little in charity whilst supplicating to Allah Most High that He relieve from your difficulty by His Grace. [see: Struggling to Have Children: Ten Key Etiquettes of Du’a]

Allah Most High says, “And whoever is mindful of Allah, He will grant them a way out, and will provide for them in ways unimagined. And whoever places their trust in Allah, then Allah is their sufficiency. Allah’s affair will surely come to pass–and Allah has made a clear decree for everything.” [65.2-3]

Strive to learn and have Godconsciousness (taqwa) in your life, and ensure that you are fulfilling all of your responsibilities as a wife and mother, for the sake of Allah Most High, in a way that will better the situation.

You may find the following titles useful: (1) Six in the Bed, by Nancy Wasserman Cocola, and (2) The Divorce Remedy, by Michele Weiner Davis. And perhaps: Contented In-Laws

Please also see: How Does One Perform The Prayer Of Need (salat al-haja)? and: How Do You Distinguish Between a Test From Allah and Punishment?

Consider taking the following free class at SeekersHub: Islamic Marriage: Guidance for Successful Marriage and Married Life

And Allah alone gives success.

Wassalam,
[Ustadh] Tabraze Azam
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani