Is It Sinful to Tell My Friend That I Have Same-Sex Attraction for Advice?

Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad

I am a Muslim who has same-sex attraction and is struggling with my homosexuality. Is it sinful if I tell someone like my close friend, who might not be judgmental, that I have same-sex attraction? Would it be considered as revealing a shortcoming that Allah has concealed? I heard a hadith that telling one’s sins to others is sinful. However, in my understanding, the hadith talked about telling one’s sinful act. Meanwhile, homosexuality per se (without acting upon it) is not sinful. Is my understanding correct?

Thank you for your question. Yes, when you are searching for support, advice, and religious reminders, you may tell someone about it. Your friend seems to be the right person to tell because if he is a good and trustworthy friend, he will have your best interest at heart and can advise you. Perhaps he will be able to help and support you in a way that others can’t. And yes, you are correct that feelings that are not acted upon are not sins, so there would be no sin here in any case.

Du`a

Please say this prophetic dua, and consult local scholars for more advice and tips on conquering this matter.

    اللَّهُمَ حَبَّبْ إِلَيْنَا الْإِيمَانَ وَزَيِّنْهُ فِي قُلُوبِنَا، وَكَرِّهْ إِلَيْنَا الْكُفْرَ وَالْفُسُوقَ وَالْعِصْيَانَ، وَاجْعَلْنَا مِنَ الرَّاشِدِينَ

O Allah, make our faith beloved to us and beautify it in our hearts and make hateful to us disbelief, wickedness and disobedience, and make me of those rightly-guided.

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May Allah give you the best of this world and the next.
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad

Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani