Lust Towards One’s Grandmother

Answered by Shaykh Irshaad Sedick

Question Summary

While sitting with my wife’s grandmother, our legs were touching, and I started feeling aroused. I tried diverting my mind but continued to feel aroused. Does this affect the validity of my marriage?

Question Answer

In the Name of Allah, the Most Merciful and Compassionate. We praise Allah and seek refuge in Him from the evil of ourselves, the devil, and our evil desires.

Your marriage is legally valid because nothing transpired which would invalidate it.

Unmarriageable Kin

Your wife’s grandmother is your eternally unmarriageable kin (mahram), and therefore interaction with her is permissible under normal circumstances. A sexual encounter with her would be considered forbidden and tantamount to incest. May Allah protect us. [Misri, ʿUmda Al-Salik]

What to do if Faced with Lustful Thoughts

Anyone who faces an incident, such as the one described, should first try to stop those thoughts/feelings immediately, seek refuge in Allah from Shaytan and one’s base desires (nafs), and if the feelings persist, ask to be excused and leave the company as soon as possible. He may even need to avoid being alone with her in the future as a precaution. Allah does not burden His servants for fleeting thoughts we may have, but if we entertain those thoughts, we are responsible for that. Please see the following response from Shaykh Faraz Rabbani regarding this:

I pray this is of benefit and that Allah guides us all.

[Shaykh] Irshaad Sedick


Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani


Shaykh Irshaad Sedick was raised in South Africa in a traditional Muslim family. He graduated from Dar al-Ulum al-Arabiyyah al-Islamiyyah in Strand, Western Cape, under the guidance of the late world-renowned scholar, Shaykh Taha Karaan.

Shaykh Irshaad received Ijaza from many luminaries of the Islamic world, including Shaykh Taha Karaan, Mawlana Yusuf Karaan, and Mawlana Abdul Hafeez Makki, among others.

He is the author of the text “The Musnad of Ahmad ibn Hanbal: A Hujjah or not?” He has served as the Director of the Discover Islam Centre and Al Jeem Foundation. For the last five years till present, he has served as the Khatib of Masjid Ar-Rashideen, Mowbray, Cape Town.

Shaykh Irshaad has thirteen years of teaching experience at some of the leading Islamic institutes in Cape Town). He is currently building an Islamic online learning and media platform called ‘Isnad Academy’ and pursuing his Master’s degree in the study of Islam at the University of Johannesburg. He has a keen interest in healthy living and fitness.