Why Do So Many Muslims Struggle With Stopping Sexual Sins?

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Answered by Ustadha Raidah Shah Idil

Question: Myself included, it looks so many people who practice Islam are not capable of breaking the sinful desires of the body. What could be the reason for this? How can we overcome it?

Answer: Assalamualaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,

I pray this finds you well. May Allah reward you for reaching out to us.

Sin

Allah Most High says: “Say: My servants who have wronged yourselves, never despair of God’s mercy. God forgives all sins: He is truly the Most Forgiving, the Most Merciful.” [Qur’an, 39.53]

Only the Prophets (may Allah’s blessings and peace be upon them) are Divinely protected from sin. Everyone else struggles with the journey of sinning, and repenting from them.

Support

Dear questioner, it sounds like you need better support in overcoming your trials. I strongly encourage that you sign up to Purify Your Gaze. This is a safe space for Muslims who are struggling with various forms of sex addiction.

We live in a hypersexualised world. In addition to that, many families have accumulated generations of unresolved psychological issues. This combination can make many people susceptible to sins of the body.

Overcoming sexual sins takes commitment, patience, support, and a lot of sincere dua. Please remember that anything is possible through the help of Allah Most High.

Repentance

The conditions of a valid repentance are as follows:

a. One leaves the sin,
b. One feels remorse for the action committed,
c. One resolves to not return to it, and
d. One pays back or returns what one owes if the sin involves the rights of others.

[Nawawi, Riyad al-Salihin]

Plan

I strongly recommend that you come up with and commit to a plan of action to help you overcome your sexual addiction. Here are some suggestions:

-Pray Salatul Hajat and ask Allah for the strength to give up your addiction, for the ability to marry, for ease in your finances and education, and whatever else troubles you.
-Find a new circle of God-fearing friends whom you can spend time with when you get lonely.
-Find a psychologist who specialises in sexual addiction, who respects your faith.
-Read Surah Al-Waqiah to increase your rizq, and encourage your parents to do the same.
-Give a small amount of sadaqah and ask Allah for whatever you wish (forgiveness, the ability to get married, etc)
-Incorporate more sunnah fasts into your life to help you manage your libido, starting with Monday and Thursday fasts.
-Cut down on and eventually eliminate all sources of vice that increase your desire (e.g. unlawful magazines, internet pornography etc)
-Look into the lawfulness of your food and your income. It is easier to leave sin and do good when one’s livelihood and food are halal.
-Reduce your meat consumption and eat more cooling foods.
-Expend your energy through regular exercise and volunteer activities (e.g. soup kitchen etc)

Please see:

Is There Any Hope for Me to Be Forgiven?
Chapter on Repentance Wassalam,
[Ustadha] Raidah Shah IdilChecked & Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadha Raidah Shah Idil has spent almost two years in Amman, Jordan, where she learned Shafi’i’ fiqh, Arabic, Seerah, Aqeedah, Tasawwuf, Tafsir and Tajweed. She continues to study with her Teachers through Qibla Academy and SeekersHub Global. She also graduated with a Psychology and English degree from University of New South Wales.

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