Should I Listen to My Friend’s Stories about the Guys She Chats With?
Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad
Question
My Muslim friend engages in haram behavior by talking to guys online despite my warnings. Should I inquire about the guys she talks to, or would that encourage her sinful behavior? Would I be sinful for asking her about them?
Answer
Thank you for your question. I empathize with your concern for your friend and pray that you find a way to communicate with her so that she chooses a better path. Don’t encourage it in any way.
Sin
It is not sinful for you to ask about the men, but speaking about falsehood can be sinful if it doesn’t bring any benefit or if it encourages your friend, in this case, to keep on with what she is doing. Change the subject when she brings it up, or ask for a few details to ensure she is not having inappropriate conversations. Instead, tell her about your religious lifestyle so she is inspired by it.
Here is the ruling from the Reliance of the Traveller on speaking about what doesn’t concern one:
Leaving that which doesn’t concern one
r13.3 It is recommended and praiseworthy to leave anything that does not concern one (def: w54) because one squanders one’s life by involvement in it and in mere amusement.
The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “The excellence of a person’s Islam includes leaving what does not concern him,” including excess verbiage, meaning to elaborate more than necessary about matters which do concern one or to ask about things which are of no importance; though it does not include clarifying the details of difficult Iegal questions, especially to those of limited understanding, or the need to repeat an exhortation, reminder, instruction, or the like, since it might be necessary.
But when it is unnecessary to add details, one should express oneself succinctly and with brevity. The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “Good tidings to him who avoids the excess in his speech and spends the excess of his money. “’Ali (Allah ennoble his countenance) said, “The best discourse is expressive, great, brief, and interesting.” (al-Durar al-mubaha (y99), 135-36)
Please see this link as well:
May Allah give you the best of this world and the next.
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria, for two years, where she studied Aqidah, Fiqh, Tajweed, Tafseer, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Master’s in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan, where she studied Fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She recently moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.
