Was I Sinful to Show My Parents My Frustration? – Ustadha Shazia Ahmad
Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad
Question
Is it haram to show frustration and respond back to your parents? My mother called me and I am an organized person who has a strict routine. So I got frustrated and a little angry because I was going to do other things and prepare for something but she kept asking me to do something. So I just told her “Later, later, no not now, no I am going to do it later,“ in a frustrated tone.
Then I just showed my frustrated expression and I said that I do not like to do what she asks and I even cried. I get very easily frustrated because I have depression and anxiety. I just get angry and frustrated when someone calls me when I’m occupied, am I sinful?
Answer
Thank you for your question. May Allah reward you for giving your parents such a high rank and may He aid you to aid them even when you are frustrated.
Frustration
It is sinful to talk back to your parents in a frustrated manner and to show them a cross look on your face and tell them that you didn’t like what they asked you to do. We forget the etiquette, love, and respect that is due to our parents in our day and age and we must revive it.
Allah told us that a sound, let alone a word, is disrespectful toward them. He said in the Quran, “For your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And honour your parents. If one or both of them reach old age in your care, never say to them ˹even˺ ‘ugh,’ nor yell at them. Rather, address them respectfully.“ [Quran, 17:23]
A mother’s rank
In particular, the mother has a high rank. The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) was asked, “Who among the people is most deserving of a fine treatment from my hand? He said: ‘Your mother.’ He again said: Then who (is the next one)? He said: ‘Again it is your mother (who deserves the best treatment from you).’ He said: Then who (is the next one)? He (the Holy Prophet) said: ‘Again, it is your mother.’ He (again) said: Then who? Thereupon he said: ‘Then it is your father.’ [Muslim]
Ask Allah to help you help them, and to realize their true rank in Islam, and to give you children that will love and respect you likewise.
Please see these links as well:
How Can I Stop Being Disrespectful to My Parents?
What Constitutes Disobeying One’s Parents (’Uquq al-Walidayn)?
Goodness to Parents – A Reader
May Allah give you the best of this world and the next.
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Irshaad Sedick
Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria, for two years, where she studied Aqidah, Fiqh, Tajweed, Tafseer, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Master’s in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan, where she studied Fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She recently moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.
