Can I Pray for Someone I Have Backbitten?

Answered by Shaykh Abdul-Rahim Reasat

Question

I backbit about someone with fragile mental health and fear that learning of it may severely hurt her. I also previously prayed that my backbiting would be exposed to her, God forbid.

A previous conflict severely affected her, and I apologized through my father’s number. She accepted, but later blocked me.

I fear she knows about my backbiting. Can I pray for Allah to grant her happiness and erase any pain I caused without apologizing directly?

Answer

In the name of Allah, the All-Merciful, the Ever-Merciful.

All praise belongs to Allah, Lord of all beings, and may peace and blessings be upon our master Muhammad (Allah bless him and give him peace).

Yes, you can make these prayers for her, and you should. If someone is sensitive and hearing about your backbiting will hurt them more than anyone else, it’s more of a reason to avoid it.

The guilt you’re feeling is something that can be used as a means of drawing closer to Allah.

It’s not a good feeling, so do your best to avoid these situations and avoid saying things like this. You’ll be okay, inshallah, in the future.

One thing you can do to compensate for it is to regularly do some good deeds and donate the reward of them to her and ask Allah to make her happy beyond measure, like you were intending.

That way, if she comes to you on the Day of Judgment, you will have already compensated her. (al-Shar’ani, al-Kawkab al-Shahiq)

May Allah bless you with the best of both worlds.

Allah knows best

[Shaykh] Abdul-Rahim Reasat
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Shaykh Abdul-Rahim Reasat began studying Arabic Grammar and Morphology whilst studying for a degree in English and History. After graduating, He traveled to Damascus and studied Arabic, Hanafi Fiqh, Usul al-Fiqh, Theology, and Logic with Shaykh Adnan Darwish, Shaykh ‘Abd al-Rahman Arjan al-Binsawi, Shaykh Husayn Darwish, Shaykh Muhammad Darwish, the late Shaykh Rashad Shams, and others. He then moved to Amman to continue his studies in those fields, as well as in Tafsir, Quranic Sciences, Hadith Methodology and Commentary, Prophetic Biography, Prophetic Perfections and Traits, Rhetoric, Arabic Literature, and Tajwid. His teachers include Shaykh Ali Hani, Dr. Hamza al-Bakri, Dr Salah Abu al-Hajj, Dr Mansur Abu Zina, Shaykh Ahmad Hasanat, Shaykh Ahmad Jammal, and others.