Do I Have to Obey My Parents If They Forbid Me from Wearing Hijab?

Answered by Shaykh Abdul-Rahim Reasat

Question

Do I have to obey my parents if they forbid me from wearing the hijab?

Answer

I pray you are well.

In this situation, you do not have to obey your parents. There is a broader discussion among scholars regarding the extent to which parents must be obeyed. While it is obligatory to respect one’s parents, treat them well, and show them kindness, this does not mean that a person must obey everything they say in all circumstances.

If what they are asking is wrong or harmful, then obedience is not required. In particular, if something involves sin, then it is not permissible to comply. One cannot obey a created being if doing so entails disobeying the Creator. Therefore, if your parents are telling you not to wear the hijab, you are not required to obey them in this matter.

Maintaining Respect While Being Firm

At the same time, it is essential to avoid unnecessary clashes wherever possible. In this situation, you should politely and firmly say that you are going to wear the hijab and that you want to practice your religion. If they are not receptive, consider involving someone else who may be able to explain the matter more calmly or effectively.

Sometimes, parents may be non-religious or irreligious, and when they see their child trying to practice, they may think the person is becoming extreme. Their standards may be those of someone who is not religious. In such cases, try to explain to them that this is part of the religion and something that it requires, and that you are simply doing your best to practice your faith.

Do what you can to minimize tension and conflict. In the worst-case scenario, within the house, you do not need to wear the hijab unless a non-mahram is present. Then, before going out, you can put it on quickly. Do what you can to reduce friction while remaining firm in your commitment.

Allah knows best.
[Shaykh] Abdul-Rahim

Shaykh Abdul-Rahim Reasat began studying Arabic Grammar and Morphology whilst studying for a degree in English and History. After graduating, He traveled to Damascus and studied Arabic, Hanafi Fiqh, Usul al-Fiqh, Theology, and Logic with Shaykh Adnan Darwish, Shaykh ‘Abd al-Rahman Arjan al-Binsawi, Shaykh Husayn Darwish, Shaykh Muhammad Darwish, the late Shaykh Rashad Shams, and others. He then moved to Amman to continue his studies in those fields, as well as in Tafsir, Quranic Sciences, Hadith Methodology and Commentary, Prophetic Biography, Prophetic Perfections and Traits, Rhetoric, Arabic Literature, and Tajwid. His teachers include Shaykh Ali Hani, Dr. Hamza al-Bakri, Dr Salah Abu al-Hajj, Dr Mansur Abu Zina, Shaykh Ahmad Hasanat, Shaykh Ahmad Jammal, and others.