How Can I Repent if I Committed a Sin With My Cousin?

Answered by Mawlana Ilyas Patel

Question

I am a 20-year-old male. I sinned with my 12-year-old cousin. She did not know as she was sleeping. I placed my penis in her hand and ejaculated. I also touched her body and private parts. How should I proceed?

Answer

In the Name of Allah, the Most Merciful and Compassionate.

This is a grave crime against a child, involving abuse and a violation of another person’s sacred rights (huquq al-ʿibad).

One must take sincere steps to prevent such harm from ever occurring again and seek qualified scholarly guidance regarding repentance, restitution, and any possible acknowledgment of the victim’s rights

Take Concrete Steps

Your feelings of guilt and repentance are commendable. However, taking concrete steps to prevent it from happening again is more important.

This means ensuring the child’s future safety, confirming that she is receiving care from a trusted family member, and attending to her well-being.

Dignity of Others is Sacred

What happened to this cousin is a grave sin and a violation of her sacred dignity. In Islam, the body and honor of a child are inviolable, and no relationship—not even that of a close maḥram relative—permits anyone to transgress those boundaries.

Abu Huraira (Allah be pleased with him) reported the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) said: The entirety of the Muslim is sacred to another Muslim: his life, his wealth, and his reputation. [Muslim]

Abu Huraira (Allah be pleased with him) reported that the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) said:

Whoever has wronged his brother regarding his honor or anything else should seek his forgiveness today, before there will be neither Dinar (gold coin) nor Dirham (silver coin). If he has good deeds, they will be taken in accordance with the oppression. But if he has no good deeds, then some of his companions’ sins will be taken, and he will be burdened with them. [Bukhari]

The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said: “There should be no harm and no causing of harm.” [Ibn Maja; Malik]

Sins Involving Rights of Others

Sins that involve the rights of others require three further steps:

1. stop the harm,
2. restore what was taken or compensate, and
3. Seek forgiveness from the wronged person where possible. [Birgivi, al-Bariqa al-Mahmudiyya Sharh al-Tariqa al-Muhammadiyya; Amasi, Tabyin al-Maharim]

Despair

In your case, you should never despair because Allah forgives all sins. There have been many sinners before you and those who have done far worse.

Find solace in this Quranic verse. Allah Most High says, “Say, ‘O My servants who have transgressed against themselves [by sinning], do not despair of the mercy of Allah. Indeed, Allah forgives all sins. Indeed, it is He who is the Forgiving, the Merciful.’” [Quran, 39:53]

“The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said: “The one who repents from sin is like one who did not sin.” [Ibn Maja]

Do Good

The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “Have fear (taqwa) of Allah wherever you may be, and follow up an evil deed with a good deed which will wipe it out, and behave well towards the people.“ [Tirmidhi]

Channel your guilt and sadness into fulfilling your obligations to Allah Most High and seeking closeness to Him.

Pray the Prayer of Need, make dua during the night vigil prayer (tahajjud), and set aside time to study Sacred Knowledge, attend circles of remembrance, and strengthen your faith in Islam.

Devote yourself entirely to Allah, and you will come to love what He loves and hate what He hates.

Sincere Repentance Restores Relationship

Sincere repentance restores the relationship with Allah Most High, but it is inseparable from ensuring the rights of those we have harmed.

Allah’s mercy is especially granted to us if we approach Him through sincere repentance.

And Allah knows best.

[Mawlana] Ilyas Patel
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Related

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• Was My Childhood Sexual Abuse Due to Allah Punishing Me? — Reassures survivors that abuse is never a divine punishment and offers spiritual guidance, healing, and hope through faith and therapy.
• Is a Father Who Molests His Daughter Still Considered Her Mahram? — Discusses the legal ruling regarding mahram status while stressing the obligation of protection, avoidance of seclusion, and support for survivors.
• I Touched a Woman; How Can I Be More Mindful of the Sacred Law in the Future? — Explains the rulings related to physical contact with non-mahrams and how mindfulness, repentance, and learning sacred law cultivate God-consciousness.
• How Can I Repent for Sexually Abusing My Younger Sibling? — Addresses sincere repentance, healing from trauma, accountability toward the harmed person, and the importance of therapy and spiritual reform.

Mawlana Ilyas Patel has received traditional education in various countries. He started his schooling in the UK and completed his hifz of the Quran in India. After that, he joined an Islamic seminary in the UK, where he studied secular and Aalimiyya sciences. Later, he traveled to Karachi, Pakistan, and other Middle Eastern countries to further his education. Mawlana has served as an Imam in the Republic of Ireland for several years and taught the Quran and other Islamic sciences to both children and adults. He also worked as a teacher and librarian at a local Islamic seminary in the UK for 12 years. Presently, he lives in the UK with his wife and is interested in books and gardening.