Is It Permissible to Seek Divorce From an Irresponsible Husband?
Hanafi Fiqh
Answered by Mawlana Ilyas Patel
Question
I’ve been married for four years, but lived with my husband for only two months each year. He borrowed a large loan from my widowed mother and regularly borrows from me. Now with a baby, I realize he’s irresponsible; he never contributed to the household, and sometimes emotionally gaslit me.
He once saw me as a treasure—kind and protective—but now, he can’t even give me attention on the phone, citing money problems during my pregnancy. I hesitate to ask for a divorce to avoid upsetting the Throne of Allah, but do you think it’s permissible?
Answer
In the Name of Allah, the Most Merciful and Compassionate.
I pray you are in good faith and health. Thank you for your question and for understanding the seriousness of divorce. I am sorry to hear about your situation. May Allah reward you for enduring this.
This is a difficult situation you’re facing. It’s clear he has been using you and your mother, showing no empathy while you were pregnant, and taking money from both of you. It’s something to think about since you have a child with him. However, you do have grounds for seeking a divorce.
Seek Advice from Reliable Local Scholars
Please seek advice from a reliable local Imam or scholar, discuss your difficulties openly, and follow their guidance.
Right to be Physically and Emotionally Safe
Every human being has a right to be safe. Whenever anyone is being physically abused, the abuse must be stopped. This is in keeping with the legal principle “Harm shall be removed.” [Suyuti, Al-Ashbah wa al-Nadhair]
Seeking Guidance (Istikhara) and Taking Advice (Istishara)
Anas Ibn Malik (Allah be pleased with him) reported from the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace),
“The one who performs prayer for guidance (istikhara) will not be unsuccessful, and the one who takes advice (mashwara) will never regret.” [Tabarani, al-Mu‘jam al-Awsat; Haythami, Majma’ al-Zawa’id]
First, perform two rakat Prayer of Seeking Guidance and read the dua when you reach the words, (إن هذا الأمر), ask Allah Most High if divorce is better for you. Then, continue to consult others until you are inclined to one way or another.
I pray to Allah Most High to destine what is good for you and give you immediate relief and success in whatever decision you are inclined towards.
Given the consideration in such cases, please discuss this issue with reliable local scholars, local organizations, and support networks.
I would like you to go through the valuable answers and links below. Insha’Allah, you will receive guidance and direction.
Related
- Muslim Scholars On Spousal Abuse: “In Islamic law, it is unlawful to abuse a wife, injure her, or insult her dignity.” – Allahcentric – SeekersGuidance
- How to Deal with an Abusive Husband?
- Abusive Marriage Archives
- Turning Back to Allah: Ustadh Abdullah Misra—SeekersGuidance
- Istikhara, The Prayer of Seeking Guidance: The Ultimate Guide – A Reader
- How Does One Perform The Prayer Of Need (Salat al-Haja)?
Why not begin your search for knowledge by signing up for a course on SeekersGuidance? You can choose from the Islamic Studies Curriculum and progress through each course step by step.
I pray this helps with your question.
Wassalam,
[Mawlana] Ilyas Patel
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Mawlana Ilyas Patel has received a traditional education in various countries. He started his schooling in the UK and completed his hifz of the Quran in India. After that, he joined an Islamic seminary in the UK, where he studied secular and Aalimiyya sciences. Later, he traveled to Karachi, Pakistan, and other Middle Eastern countries to further his education. Mawlana has served as an Imam in the Republic of Ireland for several years and taught the Quran and other Islamic sciences to both children and adults. He also worked as a teacher and librarian at a local Islamic seminary in the UK for 12 years. Presently, he lives in the UK with his wife and is interested in books and gardening.
