Is It Sinful to Divorce a Mentally Ill Wife?

Answered by Mawlana Ilyas Patel

Question

I have been married for 10 years with no children. My wife struggles with mental health issues, including ADHD and Borderline Personality Disorder, causing anger, emotional outbursts, depression, and conflict.

Despite encouraging treatment and involving family, there’s little progress, and she refuses professional help. If a husband, after years of efforts, fails to save the marriage, would seeking divorce be sinful in Islam?

Answer

In the Name of Allah, the Most Merciful and Compassionate.

I’m sorry to hear about your situation and your wife’s.

As you’ve tried supporting your wife and encouraging her and her family to seek treatment, but they refused to seek help, a last resort is a revocable divorce. You will not be sinful due to the efforts you have made.

You’ve spent a long time with her, but if you don’t feel an emotional connection now, consider ending the marriage.

The Quran states that effort should be made for a marriage to work, or for it to end amicably if rights are not fulfilled.

Honorably Retain or Kindly Let Go

Allah guides that a wife should be retained with honor or separated with grace. “The divorce that can be returned from may be pronounced up to two times, then either honorably retaining her or kindly letting her go.” [Quran, 2: 229]

Quranic Guidance

The Quranic guidance is to seek help from righteous scholars, elders, and professional mediators, then strive for reconciliation and give marriage another chance; if this second step fails, the husband may consider ending the marriage.

If considering divorce, respect each other with mutual understanding and sensitivity, and advise them to consider treatment and seek help.

If they seek help, resolve issues, and if she has renewed intent and commitment, reconsider remarriage if you mutually agree to all.

If a husband cannot maintain rights or has no desire for her, then he may divorce her [Ibn Abidin, Radd al-Muhtar]

Divorce – a Last Resort

Divorce in Islam can be a mercy if marriage fails to achieve mutual comfort.

It provides a solution to hardship, as Allah states in the Quran, “And if a man and wife go their separate ways, Allah shall enrich each from need out of His illimitable bounty; And verily was Allah ever vast of magnificence, all-wise.” [Quran, 4:130]

We pray to Allah Most High to grant a cure to your wife and make it easy for her to seek support. May he reward you for your patience. If not, after consulting your family and reliable local scholars, you may consider ending the marriage as described above.

[Mawlana] Ilyas Patel
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

And Allah knows best.

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Mawlana Ilyas Patel has received traditional education in various countries. He started his schooling in the UK and completed his hifz of the Quran in India. After that, he joined an Islamic seminary in the UK, where he studied secular and Aalimiyya sciences. Later, he traveled to Karachi, Pakistan, and other Middle Eastern countries to further his education. Mawlana has served as an Imam in the Republic of Ireland for several years and taught the Quran and other Islamic sciences to both children and adults. He also worked as a teacher and librarian at a local Islamic seminary in the UK for 12 years. Presently, he lives in the UK with his wife and is interested in books and gardening.

(قَوْلُهُ وَمِنْ مَحَاسِنِهِ التَّخَلُّصُ بِهِ مِنْ الْمَكَارِهِ) أَيْ الدِّينِيَّةِ وَالدُّنْيَوِيَّةِ بَحْرٌ: أَيْ كَأَنْ عَجَزَ عَنْ إقَامَةِ حُقُوقِ الزَّوْجَةِ، أَوْ كَانَ لَا يَشْتَهِيهَا

الكتاب: حاشية رد المحتار، على الدر المختار: شرح تنوير الأبصار
المؤلف: محمد أمين، الشهير بابن عابدين [ت ١٢٥٢ هـ]
الناشر: شركة مكتبة ومطبعة مصطفى البابي الحلبي وأولاده بمصر
الطبعة: الثانية ١٣٨٦ هـ = ١٩٦٦ م