Is Suppressing Emotions Necessary for Sincerity?

Answered by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Question

To avoid insincerity, must a person deny his emotions?

Answer

In the Name of Allah, the Merciful and Compassionate

No. Sincerity is a matter of what you are aiming at, not of what you feel. And you do not have to flatten your feelings to be sincere. Sincerity is seeking Allah’s Pleasure through your actions and having no ulterior motives.

Given how critical sincerity is, our tradition is more careful here than a simple yes or no: not every gladness is the same gladness, and learning to tell them apart is the real work.

What Sincerity Is

Sincerity (ikhlas) is the singling out of Allah in obedience by way of the intention, as Imam Qushayri defines it. [Qushayri, al-Risala al-Qushayriyya] Notice where the weight falls: on what the act is for.

Allah Most High says: “Nor have they been commanded aught else but to worship Allah alone, making their religion sincerely His.” [Quran 98:5; Keller, The Quran Beheld] The verse points to the direction of worship and says nothing about the worshipper’s inner weather.

Imam Ghazali defines the opposite — showing off, or insincerity (riya) — in the same way: showing off is the desire to stand in people’s hearts through obedience to Allah. [Ghazali, Ihya Ulum al-Din; with Zabidi’s commentary, Ithaf al-Sada al-Muttaqin]

A definition framed in terms of what a person wants cannot be satisfied or broken by a feeling. Showing off is a movement of the will toward creation; gladness is something that happens to you.

Gladness After the Deed

Imam Ghazali addresses your question directly. If bare gladness arises after the act is finished — gladness that it became known, without your having displayed it — the deed was already completed under the description of sincerity, and we may hope that what arises afterward does not fold back upon it.

The danger lies in the appetite to display it, and in acting on that. A group of the knowers of Allah, he notes, held precisely this. [Ghazali, Ihya Ulum al-Din; with Zabidi’s commentary, Ithaf al-Sada al-Muttaqin]

Four Kinds of Gladness That Are Praiseworthy, and One That Is Not

Imam Ghazali sets out five kinds of joy at being discovered in an act of obedience, and four of them are praiseworthy:

One. You concealed the act and intended it for Allah, and when people came to know of it you understood that Allah disclosed it and made the beautiful in your state apparent, so your joy is at Allah’s gracious regard for you, not at their praise.

Two. Or you take His concealing your ugliness and disclosing your beauty in this world as a sign that He will do the same in the next.

Three. Or you expect that those who saw will follow you in the good, so the reward multiplies.

Four. Or you rejoice at the faith of those who saw — that they love an obedient person rather than resenting him — and the mark of sincerity in this fourth kind is that your joy at their praising someone else equals your joy at their praising you.

Five. The fifth is the blameworthy one: joy at your standing being established in people’s hearts, so that they praise you, honor you, and see to your needs. [Ghazali, Ihya Ulum al-Din; with Zabidi’s commentary, Ithaf al-Sada al-Muttaqin]

So the question is never “Did I feel something?” It is “What was the feeling about?”

One Honest Warning

Imam Ghazali also gives the sign of hidden showing off, and it deserves saying plainly. A servant may be sincere, may hate showing off and push it away, may complete the act that way — and then, when people learn of it, feel gladness and ease and expansion, and find that this lightened the weight of the worship on his heart.

That relief is the tell. Had the heart not been turned toward people, their noticing would not have eased anything. Showing off was lying in the heart, he says, as fire lies hidden in flint, and their looking struck the spark. [Ghazali, Ihya Ulum al-Din; with Zabidi’s commentary, Ithaf al-Sada al-Muttaqin]

Read that as diagnosis, not accusation. And note the limit he himself draws: bare gladness at people’s noticing, where the effect does not visibly reach the act, is far from invalidating the prayer, and that, he says, is what accords with the canon of fiqh as the Shafi’i jurists frame it.

He adds that those who plunged into this subject without regard for the jurists’ rules ended up voiding acts of worship over the slightest passing thought.

The Sunna Forecloses the Scruple

The Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) was asked about the man who does something good, and people praise him for it, and he said: “That is the believer’s glad tidings hastened forward.” [Muslim 2642]

Imam Nawawi placed it under a chapter heading: when the righteous person is praised, it is glad tidings, and it does not harm him.

Feeling in the Lives of the Prophets

If emotion were itself a defect, the Quran would not narrate the prophets’ emotions without censure.

Yaqub (peace be upon him) grieved until his sight went: “And he turned from them and said, ‘O my searing grief for Joseph!’ And his eyes grew white for very sorrow, choking back his grief.” [Quran 12:84; Keller, The Quran Beheld]

Challenged on it, he neither denied the feeling nor apologized for it: “I but complain my ungovernable anguish and sorrow to Allah; And I know of Allah what you know not.” [Quran 12:86; Keller, The Quran Beheld]

The anguish stands, named and owned. What the Quran regulates is where he carries it.

Aim the Heart, and Let the Feelings Be

So point the intention at Allah when you begin, and then leave your emotions alone. Do not audit them, and do not read their presence as evidence against you. Policing feeling for traces of insincerity is itself a species of misgiving, and it grows by being fed.

If you want to strengthen sincerity, do not do it by subtracting feeling. Do some good quietly, where no one will ever know. That works on the intention directly, and it is also the test the Ihya gives you: if being unseen costs you nothing, there was nothing hidden in the flint.

And Allah knows best.

[Shaykh] Faraz Rabbani

Related SeekersGuidance Answers

• What Is Riya (Ostentation)? — Shaykh Riad Saloojee — Locates riya in the heart rather than the outward act, and clarifies that simply mentioning a good deed is not riya absent a prideful intention.
• Intention: Validity and Sincerity — Shaykh Faraz Rabbani — Distinguishes the minimum intention an act needs to be legally valid from the sincere intention that earns reward.
• How Can I Stop My Feeling of Ostentation When I Am Praying? — Shaykh Yusuf Weltch — Sets out the levels of riya in prayer and gives both knowledge-based and action-based remedies for it.
• Should We Do Everything for the Sake of Allah? — Shaykh Faid Mohammed Said — Holds sincerity as the highest state, while a good deed done with good intention is rewarded even without an explicit dedication.
• Prayer without sincerity — Shaykh Abdurragmaan Khan — On supplicating with mixed motives, and why a secondary motive does not void a sincere one.
• Is Complimenting or Praising Others Permissible in Islam, and To What Extent? — Shaykh Faraz Rabbani — Sincere, truthful praise is permitted; it is exaggeration that harms the one praised which is to be avoided.

Related SeekersGuidance Courses

• Haddad’s Book of Assistance: Complete Guidance for Turning to Allah — Shaykh Yahya Rhodus on Imam al-Haddad’s classic, covering purification of the heart and turning to Allah.
• Keys to Spiritual Awareness: Balfaqih’s The Spheres of Islam, Iman, Ihsan, and Irfan Explained — Shaykh Abdul-Karim Yahya on the path to Allah, the shortcomings of the ego, and the practice of remembrance.

Shaykh Faraz Rabbani is a recognized specialist scholar in the Islamic sciences, having studied under leading scholars from around the world. He is the Founder and Executive Director of SeekersGuidance.

Shaykh Faraz stands as a distinguished figure in Islamic scholarship. His journey in seeking knowledge is marked by dedication and depth. He spent ten years studying under some of the most revered scholars of our times. His initial studies took place in Damascus. He then continued in Amman, Jordan.

In Damascus, he was privileged to learn from the late Shaykh Adib al-Kallas. Shaykh Adib al-Kallas was renowned as the foremost theologian of his time. Shaykh Faraz also studied under Shaykh Hassan al-Hindi in Damascus. Shaykh Hassan is recognized as one of the leading Hanafi jurists of our era.

Upon completing his studies, Shaykh Faraz returned to Canada in 2007. His return marked a new chapter in his service to the community. He founded SeekersGuidance. The organization reflects his commitment to spreading Islamic knowledge. It aims to be reliable, relevant, inspiring, and accessible. This mission addresses both online and on-the-ground needs.

Shaykh Faraz is also an accomplished author. His notable work includes “Absolute Essentials of Islam: Faith, Prayer, and the Path of Salvation According to the Hanafi School.” This book, published by White Thread Press in 2004, is a significant contribution to Islamic literature.

His influence extends beyond his immediate community. Since 2011, Shaykh Faraz has been recognized as one of the 500 most influential Muslims. This recognition comes from the Royal Islamic Strategic Studies Center. It underscores his impact on the global Islamic discourse.

Shaykh Faraz Rabbani’s life and work embody a profound commitment to Islamic scholarship. His teachings continue to enlighten and guide seekers of knowledge worldwide.

«النصوص» · Source-Texts

[القشيري، الرسالة القشيرية ٢‏/٣٥٩] «الإخلاص إفراد الحق سبحانه فِي الطاعة بالقصد»

[الغزالي، إحياء علوم الدين ٣‏/٢٩٧؛ ومعه شرح الزبيدي، إتحاف السادة المتقين] «وَاسْمُ الرِّيَاءِ مَخْصُوصٌ بِحُكْمِ الْعَادَةِ بِطَلَبِ الْمَنْزِلَةِ فِي الْقُلُوبِ بِالْعِبَادَاتِ وَإِظْهَارِهَا، فَحَدُّ الرِّيَاءِ هُوَ إِرَادَةُ الْمَنْزِلَةِ بِطَاعَةِ اللَّهِ عَزَّ وَجَلَّ» ؛ والشرح من إتحاف السادة المتقين

[الغزالي، إحياء علوم الدين؛ الزبيدي، إتحاف السادة المتقين — شرح «فإن ورد بعد الفراغ سرور مجرد»] «فَإِنْ وَرَدَ عَلَيْهِ بَعْدَ الْفَرَاغِ سُرُورٌ مُجَرَّدٌ بِالظُّهُورِ مِنْ غَيْرِ إِظْهَارٍ مِنْهُ، فَهَذَا لَا يُحْبِطُ الْعَمَلَ، إِذِ الْعَمَلُ قَدْ تَمَّ عَلَى نَعْتِ الْإِخْلَاصِ، سَالِمًا عَنْ شَوْبِ الرِّيَاءِ، فَمَا يَطْرَأُ بَعْدَهُ فَنَرْجُو أَنْ لَا يَنْعَطِفَ عَلَيْهِ أَثَرُهُ — هَكَذَا ذَهَبَ إِلَيْهِ جَمَاعَةٌ مِنَ الْعَارِفِينَ»

[الغزالي، إحياء علوم الدين؛ الزبيدي، إتحاف السادة المتقين — أقسام السرور] «فَنَقُولُ أَوَّلًا: كُلُّ سُرُورٍ فَلَيْسَ بِمَذْمُومٍ كُلِّهِ، بَلِ السُّرُورُ مُنْقَسِمٌ إِلَى مَحْمُودٍ وَإِلَى مَذْمُومٍ، فَأَمَّا الْمَحْمُودُ فَأَرْبَعَةُ أَقْسَامٍ: الْأَوَّلُ أَنْ يَكُونَ قَصْدُهُ إِخْفَاءَ الطَّاعَاتِ وَالْإِخْلَاصَ لِلَّهِ تَعَالَى، وَلَكِنْ لَمَّا اطَّلَعَ عَلَيْهِ الْخَلْقُ عَلِمَ أَنَّ اللَّهَ أَطْلَعَهُمْ وَأَظْهَرَ الْجَمِيلَ مِنْ أَحْوَالِهِ … فَيَكُونُ فَرَحُهُ بِجَمِيلِ نَظَرِ اللَّهِ لَهُ … وَأَمَّا الْمَذْمُومُ وَهُوَ الْخَامِسُ فَهُوَ أَنْ يَكُونَ فَرَحُهُ لِقِيَامِ مَنْزِلَتِهِ فِي قُلُوبِ النَّاسِ حَتَّى يَمْدَحُوهُ وَيُعَظِّمُوهُ»

[الغزالي، إحياء علوم الدين؛ الزبيدي، إتحاف السادة المتقين — علامة الرياء الخفي] «وَأَجْلَى عَلَامَاتِهِ أَنْ يُسَرَّ بِاطِّلَاعِ النَّاسِ عَلَى طَاعَتِهِ … وَإِذَا اطَّلَعَ عَلَيْهِ النَّاسُ سَرَّهُ ذَلِكَ وَارْتَاحَ لَهُ وَانْبَسَطَ، وَرَوَّحَ ذَلِكَ عَنْ قَلْبِهِ شِدَّةَ الْعِبَادَةِ، وَهَذَا السُّرُورُ يَدُلُّ عَلَى رِيَاءٍ خَفِيٍّ مِنْهُ يَرْشَحُ مِنْهُ السُّرُورُ … فَلَقَدْ كَانَ الرِّيَاءُ مُسْتَكِنًا فِي الْقَلْبِ اسْتِكْنَانَ النَّارِ فِي قَلْبِ الْحَجَرِ»

[الغزالي، إحياء علوم الدين؛ الزبيدي، إتحاف السادة المتقين — حدّ الأثر في الفقه] «فَأَمَّا مُجَرَّدُ السُّرُورِ بِاطِّلَاعِ النَّاسِ إِذَا لَمْ يَبْلُغْ أَثَرُهُ إِلَى حَيْثُ يُؤَثِّرُ فِي الْعَمَلِ تَأْثِيرًا بَيِّنًا، فَبَعِيدٌ أَنْ يُفْسِدَ الصَّلَاةَ، فَهَذَا مَا نَرَاهُ لَائِقًا بِقَانُونِ الْفِقْهِ»

[صحيح مسلم ٢٦٤٢، كتاب البر والصلة، باب إذا أثني على الصالح فهي بشرى ولا تضره] «قِيلَ لِرَسُولِ اللهِ ﷺ: أَرَأَيْتَ الرَّجُلَ يَعْمَلُ الْعَمَلَ مِنَ الْخَيْرِ وَيَحْمَدُهُ النَّاسُ عَلَيْهِ؟ قَالَ: تِلْكَ عَاجِلُ بُشْرَى الْمُؤْمِنِ»