Should One Support a Marriage to a Man Who Is Not Financially Responsible?
Hanafi Fiqh
Answered by Shaykh Abdul-Rahim Reasat
Question
Is it wrong to support a marriage when the man is not financially responsible?
Answer
In the Name of Allah, the Most Merciful and Compassionate.
No, supporting a marriage to a man who is genuinely financially irresponsible is a disservice to everyone involved, including the man himself. Financial responsibility is not merely a social expectation; it is a religious duty rooted in the Quranic description of what a believing husband must be.
The Quranic Standard: The Husband as Qawwam
Allah Most High says: “Men are the protecting guardians (qawwamun) of women.” [Quran 4:34]
The word “qawwam” is an intensive form indicating someone who constantly and actively protects, maintains, and provides for those in his care. This is a man’s religious responsibility, and a man who is serious in his relationship with Allah Most High will ask himself how he will answer for his conduct toward those who depend on him when he stands before Allah Most High on the Day of Judgment.
A man who is not financially responsible — in the sense intended here — is far from this Quranic description.
What Financial Irresponsibility Means
It is important to be clear about what financial irresponsibility means in this context. It does not refer to a poor man, struggling to find work, or facing genuine hardship. These are circumstances that require patience and mutual support.
The concern is with a man who wastes money, who gambles, makes unnecessary purchases, or prioritizes his own desires while neglecting bills and dependents. It includes a man who simply refuses to work while his wife carries the burden, sometimes with children to care for as well. Such a man has abdicated his responsibilities and is not in a position to fulfill the role Allah Most High has assigned to him.
The Consequences of Marrying Such a Man
Financial irresponsibility does not remain a minor inconvenience. As days, months, and years pass, the marriage deteriorates. What seemed manageable before marriage becomes a source of ongoing conflict and resentment. The woman bears a burden she was not meant to carry alone, and the marriage suffers for it.
Supporting such a marriage is not an act of friendship or love. True care for a friend in this situation means being honest: that one loves and cares for her, and that this particular choice is unlikely to serve her well. Feelings in a moment should not dictate a course of action that will cause harm over a lifetime.
A Word to the Man
Supporting such a marriage would also be a disservice to the man. What he needs is not encouragement but honest counsel: that he has responsibilities, that he is no longer a child, and that he must ask himself what he will say to Allah Most High when questioned about those in his care. Spending on spoilers and alloy wheels while dependants go without is not a small matter. It is a religious failing with serious consequences.
And Allah knows best.
[Shaykh] Abdul-Rahim
Related Answers
- What Are the Rights of a Woman over Her Husband? — Explains a husband’s obligations, including financial support, good treatment, and care for his wife.
- What Do I Do If My Husband Does Not Give Me Sufficient Financial Support? — Discusses a wife’s right to maintenance and what to do when a husband neglects his financial duties.
- Do Husbands Have Any Rights to Their Wives’ Income? — Clarifies that a husband is the financial provider and has no claim over his wife’s earnings.
- How Should the Finances Be Managed If Both Spouses Are Earning? — Explains financial responsibility within marriage and the importance of mutual agreement and consultation.
- Should Society Focus On Empowering Men Because Of Financial Responsibility? — Discusses the Quranic concept of men as caretakers and the responsibility of financial provision.
Shaykh Abdul-Rahim Reasat began studying Arabic Grammar and Morphology whilst studying for a degree in English and History. After graduating, He traveled to Damascus and studied Arabic, Hanafi Fiqh, Usul al-Fiqh, Theology, and Logic with Shaykh Adnan Darwish, Shaykh ‘Abd al-Rahman Arjan al-Binsawi, Shaykh Husayn Darwish, Shaykh Muhammad Darwish, the late Shaykh Rashad Shams, and others. He then moved to Amman to continue his studies in those fields, as well as in Tafsir, Quranic Sciences, Hadith Methodology and Commentary, Prophetic Biography, Prophetic Perfections and Traits, Rhetoric, Arabic Literature, and Tajwid. His teachers include Shaykh Ali Hani, Dr. Hamza al-Bakri, Dr. Salah Abu al-Hajj, Dr. Mansur Abu Zina, Shaykh Ahmad Hasanat, Shaykh Ahmad Jammal, and others.
