What is the Correct Way to Marry a Woman Awaiting Divorce?

Answered by Mawlana Ilyas Patel

Question

I planned to marry a woman studying Islam who was still married, but I stopped contact after she filed for divorce.

How should I set boundaries during her waiting period and possible conversion to protect my chastity?

Does my initial plan risk enticing her from her husband (takhbib), even though I immediately ended contact?

Do her children, or her inability to have more children, affect this ruling?

Answer

In the Name of Allah, the Most Merciful and Compassionate

I pray you are well and in good faith.

If you believed the woman was single and ended contact immediately after learning she was married, it would not be treated as knowingly pursuing and enticing a married woman.

Set a boundary by giving her space to explore Islam independently and by avoiding unnecessary contact for a few weeks until both of you are certain about faith and marriage.

This would be a responsible approach.

Showing Interest in Divorced and Widowed

Allah (Most High) says in the Quran: ‘‘There is no blame on you for subtly showing interest in (divorced or widowed) women or for hiding (the intention) in your hearts. Allah knows that you are considering them for marriage.

But do not make a secret commitment with them—you can only show interest in them appropriately. Do not commit to the bond of marriage until the waiting period expires. Know that Allah is aware of what is in your hearts, so beware of Him. And know that Allah is All-Forgiving, Most Forbearing.’’ [Quran, 2:235]

Waiting Period (Idda) for a Non-Muslim Woman

According to Abu Hanifa, a non-Muslim woman who is not pregnant and whose husband divorces or dies does not observe the idda (waiting period), provided it aligns with her beliefs.

Muslims are instructed to let them follow their own religious practices.

Some Imams believe she will spend a waiting period. [Ibn Abidin, Radd al-Muhtar]

Hadith on Enticing a Woman Away from Her Husband

Although your proposal does not apply to enticing a woman away from her husband, this hadith is being mentioned for clarification.

Abu Hurayra (Allah be pleased with him) narrates that the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “Anyone who entices a woman against her husband or a slave against his master is not one of us.” [Abu Dawud]

Consider some time, allowing her time to explore Islam, and for you to decide whether you can fulfill her rights regarding her children, as also her inability to have children could cause frustration or future issues for you.

However, it will not affect the marriage contract (nikah) if she is not able to do so.

Istikhara

Please perform the Prayer of Guidance as many times as needed until you gain clarity about how to move forward.

I advise you to consult a reliable local scholar regarding the specifics of your situation and family details, even after this answer.

And Allah knows best.

[Mawlana] Ilyas Patel

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• What Are the Differences in the Waiting Period of a Woman Due to Irrevocable Divorce and Due to the Death of Her Husband?
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Mawlana Ilyas Patel has received traditional education in various countries. He started his schooling in the UK and completed his hifz of the Quran in India. After that, he joined an Islamic seminary in the UK, where he studied secular and Aalimiyya sciences. Later, he traveled to Karachi, Pakistan, and other Middle Eastern countries to further his education. Mawlana has served as an Imam in the Republic of Ireland for several years and taught the Quran and other Islamic sciences to both children and adults. He also worked as a teacher and librarian at a local Islamic seminary in the UK for 12 years. Presently, he lives in the UK with his wife and is interested in books and gardening.