Doubts of Apostasy
Answered by Shaykh Yusuf Weltch
Question
How do I deal with doubts of apostasy?
Answer
In the Name of Allah, the Most Merciful and Compassionate
No act of disobedience, no matter how major, does not take one out of the fold of Islam. The only way for someone to leave the fold of Islam is to reject the beliefs or tenets that a Muslim is required to believe. [Tahawi, al-Aqidah al-Tahawiyyah]
Missing the prayer due to laziness – although it does require repentance – does not take one out of the fold of Islam.
Note that your genuine prayers (dua), your feelings of brokenness, and your tears are all proof of sincerity and a sign that Allah Most High loves you.
The Prophet Musa asked Allah Most High, “Where can I find you?” Allah Most High replied, “You will find Me with those whose hearts are broken for My sake.” [Haddad, Etiquettes of the Seeker]
Good Opinions of Allah
One of the most important aspects of our relationship with Allah Most High is having a good opinion of Allah Most High.
The Messenger of Allah (may Allah bless him and give him peace) narrates that Allah Most High says, “I am as My servant thinks of Me. So let him think of Me as he wishes.” [Tabarani]
In this line, the fact that you are even asking with regard to your relationship with Allah Most High is a sign that Allah loves you and is near to you.
Allah Most High says, “When My servants ask you ˹O Prophet˺ about Me: I am truly near. I respond to one’s prayer when they call upon Me. So let them respond ˹with obedience˺ to Me and believe in Me, perhaps they will be guided ˹to the Right Way˺.” [Quran, 2:186]
Expansive Mercy
In order to help one refrain from having a pessimistic outlook on Allah Most High, one can read and reflect on the verses and Prophetic narrations that speak about Allah’s vast mercy.
Allah Most High says, “Say, ˹O Prophet, that Allah says,˺ ‘O My servants who have exceeded the limits against their souls! Do not lose hope in Allah’s mercy, for Allah certainly forgives all sins. He is indeed the All-Forgiving, Most Merciful.’” [Quran; 39:53]
The Messenger of Allah (may Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “Indeed Allah Most High says: O child of Adam, if you call upon Me and hope in Me, I will forgive you despite your faults, and it is easy for Me. O child of Adam, if your sins reached the zenith of the sky, then you sought My forgiveness, I would forgive You, and it is easy for Me. O child of Allah, if you meet Me with an Earth full of sins and have not associated with Me any partners, I will meet you with an Earth full of forgiveness.” [Tirmidhi]
Summary
There is no reason for you to despair. You are still a Muslim, and with your repentance, you are a strong Muslim. Amongst those qualities that Allah Most High loves the most are repentance and remorse.
Allah Most High is the acceptor of repentance, as seen in the above verse.
My advice to you is to (a) surround yourself with practicing Muslims who are trying to do right by Allah Most High. This will be extremely helpful in strengthening you to gain consistency in prayer and other areas of religious practice. And (b) to begin to seek a deeper level of knowledge of Islam by taking some basic courses – like those offered for free here on SeekersGuidance.
Hope this helps
Allah knows best
[Shaykh] Yusuf Weltch
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Shaykh Yusuf Weltch teaches Arabic, Islamic law, and spirituality. After accepting Islam in 2008, he completed four years at the Darul Uloom Seminary in New York, where he studied Arabic and the traditional sciences.
He then traveled to Tarim, Yemen, where he studied for three years in Dar al-Mustafa under some of the most outstanding scholars of our time, including Habib Umar Bin Hafiz, Habib Kadhim al-Saqqaf, and Shaykh Umar al-Khatib.
In Tarim, Shaykh Yusuf completed the memorization of the Quran and studied beliefs, legal methodology, hadith methodology, Quranic exegesis, Islamic history, and several texts on spirituality. He joined the SeekersGuidance faculty in the summer of 2019.
