Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad
I fear I’m losing my iman. I’m losing care for whether or not I’m a Muslim and whether I go to Jannah or Jahannam. I’m overthinking everything, especially my faith, and whether my intentions are pure or not when I worship. I’m questioning everything and I fear I’ll decide to not care, and at the same time, I’m questioning this fear as well. Please pray for me, I urgently need guidance.
Thank you for your question. I want you to know that your asking this question confirms for me that you are a person of faith and that you are not even calling that into question.
The Devil has thousands of years of training with his trickery and manipulation. This is one of his famous tricks, and you should learn to pinpoint it. Try reading The Screwtape Letters, by C.S. Lewis. First published in February 1942, the story is a series of letters from a senior demon Screwtape to his nephew Wormwood, a junior tempter. The uncle’s mentorship pertains to the nephew’s responsibility in securing the damnation of a British man known only as “the Patient.”
A contrast is formed between the uncle and nephew during the rest of the book, wherein Wormwood is depicted through Screwtape’s letters as anxious to tempt his patient into extravagantly wicked and deplorable sins, often recklessly, while Screwtape takes a more subtle stance, as in Letter XII, wherein he remarks: “… the safest road to hell is the gradual one-the gentle slope, soft underfoot, without sudden turnings, without milestones, without signposts.” [Wikipedia]
Instilling doubts is one of the Devil’s specialties and you must follow the cardinal rule, ignore, ignore, ignore. Abu Hurairah said, “His companion came to him and said, ‘Messenger of Allah! We have thoughts that we cannot dare talk about and we do not like that we have them or talk about them.’ He said, ‘Have you experienced that?’ They replied, ‘Yes.’ He said, ‘That is clear faith.’” [Abu Dawud]. As long as you believe that there is no God but Allah and that Muhammad is His Messenger, you don’t need to ever doubt your faith again.
Turn to Allah
So discard any thoughts about whether you are Muslim or not, and spend your energy in speaking to Allah and asking Him to rectify your affairs and to give you what He wants of you. Ask Him sincerely for guidance and to show you what to do, He will not abandon you, for He is the Most Merciful of the Merciful.
How Do I Deal with Doubts in My Faith?
I Have So Many Doubts That I Am Afraid to Loose My Faith. What Can I Do?
Lost My Faith Due To Doubting About God And Holy Quran
What Should I Do If I Have Doubts About Islam?
May Allah give you the best of this world and the next.
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria for two years where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, tafsir, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Masters in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She later moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.