Can I Get Married If My Father Will Provide For Me And My Wife?
Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad
Question
I am 20 years old and I want to get married. But I’m still a student. I am from Kashmir and here we have a joint family system. So even if I’m earning my wife and I have to live with my family. That means I have to give my income to father and my family will provide most things for us.
Can I get married provided my father and brother will provide expenses for me and my wife, and I will start giving them my income after graduating and working? I could try to work part-time in the meanwhile.
Answer
Thank you for your question. It is praiseworthy that you are thinking of marriage at a young age so that you don’t succumb to the trials and tests that a young man must face in this world. It would complete half of your religion and give you the focus you need for your studies.
Please see this answer on how to approach getting married and how to get ready for it.
I also urge you to complete this free marriage course at Seekers so that you can know your rights and responsibilities before entering into a big contract with someone.
Marriage in Islam: Practical Guidance for Successful Marriage …
The arrangement that you mention is permissible if your father and brother agree. Please discuss it openly with them and pray istikhara about whether you should pursue marriage now or wait. Also, keep in mind that although you live a joint family system, your wife may ask for a separate housing and she has a right to it. Openly discuss this with her as well.
A Wife’s Right to Housing Separate From Her In-Laws
The only comment that I might add is that families are less likely to give their daughters to a man who is still studying unless they see that he is on a trajectory to success or that his brothers and father have done well. The emotional maturity that a young man builds up from graduating and then working is quite different from one who is still a student. Consider all of this with an open mind when you pray your istikhara.
May Allah reward you and give you an easy transition from studies to work and from single life to married life.
May Allah give you the best in this world and the next.
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria, for two years, where she studied Aqidah, Fiqh, Tajweed, Tafseer, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Master’s in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan, where she studied Fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She recently moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.
