What Are the Rights of the Mother of the Bride in the Absence of the Father?

Answered by Mawlana Ilyas Patel

Question

My niece is 25 years old. She is engaged to be married. Her father is not around, and her brothers don’t know anything about Islam, the marriage dowry, etc. Her maternal uncle and mother have tried to facilitate the dowry conversation.

Still, the mother of the bride-to-be was told that she has no Islamic right to be involved at all in any discussion relating to the dowry or wedding arrangements agreements by the groom.

My question is, in such a situation, what are the rights of the bride’s mother Islamically, especially when the groom-to-be is making decisions and arrangements about the marriage with the girl without her mother’s consent or her maternal uncle’s consent?

Answer

In the Name of Allah, the Most Merciful and Compassionate

I pray you are in good faith and health. Thank you for your question.

The groom cannot refuse her mother-in-law to be in the dowry conversation and wedding arrangement. Although she is not the guardian (wali), she is the mother and has every right to be. However, in the future, as they will get married and become a family, it is best if it is resolved amicably between them. So, both families live in harmony, which is how it should be in any marriage.

Nurturing Guardian

A mother is considered a nurturing guardian of her child, even if the father is given guardianship (wilaya) over the children in terms of marriage. She is entitled to greater overall respect than the father. See the link below.

Responsible Guardian

This responsibility of guardianship (wilaya) is given to the woman’s family in the following order:

The guardian (wali) is understood to be the father of the woman; if the father is not alive, then the grandfather; then the mature son; then the blood brother; then the uncle (father’s brother); then the cousin (father’s brother’s son); then the mother, etc.

[IbnʿAbidin, Radd al-Muhtar]

I would like you to go through the valuable answers and links below. You will receive guidance and direction in sha Allah.

• Will My Marriage to a Hanafi Woman Be Valid? – SeekersGuidance
• Marriage Archives – SeekersGuidance
• Can I Marry Without My Parents’ Consent? – SeekersGuidance
• Was My Nikah Valid If the Guardian (Wali) for My Wife Was Her Mother? (seekersguidance.org)
• Key Considerations in the Act of Marriage – SeekersGuidance
• Etiquette of Marriage: A Comprehensive SeekersGuidance Reader
• Love, Marriage, and Relationships in Islam: All Your Questions Answered (seekersguidance.org)

Why not begin your search for knowledge by signing up for a course on SeekersAcademy (seekersguidance.org)?

I pray this helps with your question.

Wassalam,
[Mawlana] Ilyas Patel
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Abdul-Rahim Reasat

Mawlana Ilyas Patel is a traditionally-trained scholar who has studied in the UK, India, Pakistan, Syria, Jordan, and Turkey. He started his early education in the UK. He went on to complete the hifz of the Quran in India, then enrolled in an Islamic seminary in the UK, where he studied the secular and ‘Aalimiyya sciences. He then traveled to Karachi, Pakistan. He has been an Imam in Rep of Ireland for several years. He has taught hifz of the Quran, Tajwid, Fiqh, and many other Islamic sciences to children and adults onsite and online extensively in the UK and Ireland. He taught at a local Islamic seminary for 12 years in the UK, where he was a librarian and a teacher of Islamic sciences. He currently resides in the UK with his wife. His interest is a love of books and gardening.