What Should One Learn Before Marriage to Ensure Its Success?
Answered by Shaykh Abdul Sami‘ al-Yaqti
Question
What must one learn before marriage to ensure its success?
Answer
All praise is due to Allah, Lord of the worlds. Blessings and peace be upon the Master of the Messengers, his Family, and all his Companions.
Among the most important things that should be learned, practiced, and acquired before marriage are:
Qualities Each Gender Should Embody
This includes the masculine traits specific to men, the feminine traits specific to women, and the shared qualities between the two genders.
Awareness of the Future Responsibilities
It is essential to understand these responsibilities and to train oneself to handle them from a young age.
This can be achieved through practical education, such as learning to keep personal and family secrets, as mentioned in the hadith of Anas (Allah be pleased with him), who said: “The first thing the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) advised me was:
‘O my son, keep my secret, and you will be a believer.’” [Abu Ya‘la]
Another method is through purposeful play. For example, ‘Umar Ibn al-Khattab (Allah be pleased with him) said:
“Teach your children swimming and archery, and the best play for a woman is with the spindle.” [Ibn Abi al-Dunya, al-Nafaqa]
Studying the Rights and Obligations of Marriage
This can be done through Islamic texts, such as the hadith:
“… and the man is a shepherd over his family and is responsible for his flock, and the woman is a shepherd over her husband’s house and children and is responsible for her flock…” [Bukhari; Muslim]
Attending Pre-Marital Courses on How to Interact with the Other Party
These courses should be aligned with proper cultural customs.
Intentions and Goals in Marriage
Scholars have mentioned numerous intentions, such as following the Sunna of the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace), seeking chastity for oneself and one’s spouse, increasing the Muslim umma, and forming a strong Islamic community.
Conclusion
It is essential to prepare children from a young age and to ensure that young adults are ready for marriage by acquiring these traits and skills. All of this is part of taking the necessary steps for success, but ultimately, success and guidance come from Allah. All praise is due to Allah, the Lord of all the worlds.
And Allah knows best.
[Shaykh] Abdul Sami‘ al-Yaqti
Shaykh Abdul Sami‘ al-Yaqti is a Syrian scholar born in Aleppo in 1977. He obtained his degree in Shari‘a from the Shari‘a Faculty of Damascus University, a Diploma in Educational Qualification from the Faculty of Education at Aleppo University, and a Diploma in Shari‘a and a Master’s in Shari‘a from the Faculty of Sharia, and Law at Omdurman University in Sudan. He is currently writing his doctoral thesis.
He studied under esteemed scholars such as Shaykh Abdul Rahman al-Shaghouri, Shaykh Mustafa al-Turkmani, and Shaykh Dr. Nur al-Din Itr, among others. Shaykh al-Yakti has worked in teaching and cultural guidance in orphanages and high schools in Aleppo. He served as an Imam, Khatib, and reciter at Sheikh Zayed Grand Mosque in Abu Dhabi and as a certified trainer for Khatibs in Abu Dhabi’s Khatib Qualification Program.
He is involved in developing and teaching a youth education program at Seekers Arabic for Islamic Sciences.
Among Shaykh al-Yaqti’s significant works are “Imam al-Haramayn al-Juwayni: Bayna Ilm al-Kalam Wa Usul al-Fiqh” and the program “The Messenger of Allah Among Us (Allah bless him and give him peace).”
