How Can I Preserve My Faith and Sanity While Facing Isolation from My Family After a Difficult Divorce?

Answered by Mawlana Ilyas Patel

Question

How can I preserve my faith and sanity while facing emotional abuse and isolation from my family after a difficult divorce?

Answer

In the Name of Allah, the Most Merciful and Compassionate

I pray you are in good faith and health. Thank you for your question. I am sad to hear about your post-divorce situation.

The past is gone; divorce has happened. Families need to realize that, after some time, they should accept the situation, move on, and allow you to start fresh.

Stay Positive

Stay positive and look at all the positives in your life. You are seeking and asking for faith-preserving advice, which is a sign of your good faith in itself, alhamdulillah. These things happen in life to anyone.

Do what is required of you now, which is patience in dealing with others’ adversity. Gradually build yourself up mentally and Islamically, sleep well, eat healthily, and take each day to fulfill the rights of Allah and others to the best of your ability.

Allah Is with the Patient

The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “The believer who mixes with people and bears their annoyance with patience will have a greater reward than the believer who does not mix with people and does not put up with their annoyance.” [Ibn Maja]

Attend gatherings of remembrance and seek knowledge, onsite and online. Try to ignore what they have to say, as you now have more independence than before.

Support from the Law of the Country

Try to seek local support and help from reliable local organizations, networks, and reliable female and male scholars. However, Allah Most High is watching, and He is the best judge. He is aware of the situation.

Turn to Allah Most High

Remember, this is a test. Consider it: Allah is redirecting you unto Him. It is a multifaceted journey, and each step will contribute to closeness to Him in shaAllah. Adopt the means, find ways to make things better, repent, keep supplicating, and after adopting all the means to seek support and justice, trust Him to make things better. Allah is watching. He will deal with the matter in His time and ways.

Call for Excellence and Mutual Empathy Post-Divorce

Allah calls for excellence in a post-marriage situation. Allah Most High says, “The divorce that can be returned from may be pronounced up to two times, then either honorably retaining her or kindly letting go. Allah calls for kind separation” [Quran, 2:229].

Given the considerations in such cases, we urge you to consult reliable local scholars about the situation’s specifics. Jazakum Allah khayr.

I would like you to read the valuable answers below. In sha Allah, you will gain a deeper understanding of your question.

Related

• abusive family Archives
• 9 Ways to Set Boundaries with Difficult Family Members
• How to Set Family Boundaries: A Therapist’s Guide
• Who Is Responsible for a Divorced Lady? – SeekersGuidance
• Can You Explain the Details of Alimony and Child Support during a Divorce? – Shaykh Abdul-Rahim Reasat – SeekersGuidance (video)

Why not begin your search for knowledge by signing up for a course on SeekersAcademy (seekersguidance.org), like from the Islamic Studies Curriculum (seekersguidance.org), and build your way up, doing each course?

I pray this helps with your question.
Wassalam,
[Mawlana] Ilyas Patel
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Mawlana Ilyas Patel has received a traditional education in various countries. He started his schooling in the UK and completed his hifz of the Quran in India. After that, he joined an Islamic seminary in the UK, where he studied secular and Aalimiyya sciences. Later, he traveled to Karachi, Pakistan, and other Middle Eastern countries to further his education. Mawlana has served as an Imam in the Republic of Ireland for several years and taught the Quran and other Islamic sciences to both children and adults. He also worked as a teacher and librarian at a local Islamic seminary in the UK for 12 years. Presently, he lives in the UK with his wife and is interested in books and gardening.