Should I Tell a Suitor That I Have a Mental Illness?

Shafi'i Fiqh

Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad

Question

I am diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder which is a mental health condition.

I have been suffering from this condition since I was a teenager. I have undergone therapy and counseling and only recently my family has started to express their interest in understanding my condition. For a long time, I was treated badly and never received any emotional support or understanding in my social circle.

Now, I have some brothers who are interested in marriage. Should I tell them I am suffering from a mental health condition?

Answer

Thank you for your question. May Allah facilitate your situation for you and help you heal from this illness.

For every illness, there is a cure.

You must tell him that you have this disorder because he has a right to know. When a man looks at a prospective bride, he searches for a life partner to support, love, and grow with, and it would be very deceiving to paint a picture of yourself that is not true. In today’s world, it is even more important to be transparent because you don’t want to get stuck with someone who makes your mental illness worse. You will require his support, help, and understanding, as well.

Hiding it would be a terrible crime, in my opinion.

You could additionally benefit from the following answer:
How Much Should I Reveal When Asked About the Character of a Prospective Spouse

May Allah give you the best of this world and the next.
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria for two years where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, tafsir, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Masters in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She later moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.