Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad
I started practicing this year but recently I feel as though Allah doesn’t like me, even though I pray now. I try my best but I still sin and I can’t stop. Now when I make dua to Allah I fear He will ignore me and not answer me. I feel like I’m doomed, I feel stressed and cry every day. I ask for forgiveness daily but I feel he doesn’t like me. I feel like giving up sometimes but I keep going for His sake. I can’t be sinless, so are all my duas and repentance ignored?
Thank you for your question. I am sorry that you are feeling this desperation concerning your lord, but there is no reason to. Allah is the Most Merciful of the Merciful, and He is prepared to forgive.
Allah tells us not to despair of His mercy because of our sins. Allah has told us in these very reassuring words, “Say, ˹O Prophet, that Allah says,˺ “O My servants who have exceeded the limits against their souls! Do not lose hope in Allah’s mercy, for Allah certainly forgives all sins. He is indeed the All-Forgiving, Most Merciful.” [Quran, 39:53]
And he said, may Allah bless him and give him peace, “Allah, Blessed is He and Most High, said: ‘O son of Adam! Verily as long as you called upon Me and hoped in Me, I forgave you, despite whatever may have occurred from you, and I did not mind. O son of Adam! Were your sins to reach the clouds of the sky, then you sought forgiveness from Me, I would forgive you, and I would not mind. O son of Adam! If you came to Me with sins nearly as great as the earth, and then you met Me not associating anything with Me, I would come to you with forgiveness nearly as great as it.’” [Tirmidhi]
And Abu Huraira reported that Allah’s Messenger (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “When half of the night or two-third of it is over. Allah, the Blessed and the Exalted, descends to the lowest heaven and says: Is there any beggar so that he be given? Is there any supplicator so that he be answered? Is there any beggar of forgiveness so that he be forgiven? (And Allah continues it saying) till it is daybreak.” [Muslim]
As you can see, your reasons for despair are very few, Allah has made mercy incumbent on Himself and He is prepared to forgive. He knows that all humans are weak, greedy, and sinful, and He doesn’t want you to be in agony over this. Instead, focus on moving forward and trying your best to find the triggers for your sins and to try to change yourself.
Some of the steps that you can take are:
- Keep the company of the pious
- Continuously learn about your religion, especially personally obligatory knowledge
- Exercise and take supplements, including vitamin D
- Spend less time on screens
- Pray on time and read Qur’an daily with the meaning
- Follow this procedure for repentance: What Are the Conditions of Making Tawba?
- Say these supplications: 10 Powerful Duas That Will Change Your Life
- Learn these etiquettes for supplication: The Reality and Etiquettes of Supplication: A Reader
- Learn the steps to self-change: 6 Steps to Self-Change – Living Hearts Series
May Allah give you the best of this world and the next.
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria for two years where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, tafsir, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Masters in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She later moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.