Answered by Shaykh Jamir Meah
Question: Assalamu alaykum
I once had immoral and bad thoughts about my future mother in law and masturbated to those thoughts. There was no contact between me and my future Mother in Law. Can I still marry her daughter according to Shafi’i fiqh?
Answer: Assalam ‘alaykum. Jazakum Allah for your question.
Having immoral thoughts about your future mother in law is prohibited. However, it does not affect the permissibility of marrying her daughter.
It is important that you first repent from your thoughts and actions, by praying two cycles of prayer with the intention of repentance. Ask Allah to forgive you and to help you overcome these thoughts and prohibited actions. Focus on your marriage and devote your love and desire towards your wife alone.
If you are struggling with addictions, especially if it has been long term, then start now by weaning yourself off bad habits, as they may affect your marital life a great deal.
Please refer to the various answers below, some of which contain very good practical steps and resources to help control urges and overcoming the issues:
Once you have prayed tawba, be positive and strive to stay firm on the road to healing. If you fall on the way, just keep going. With the help of Allah, anything is surmountable.
[Shaykh] Jamir Meah
Shaykh Jamir Meah grew up in Hampstead, London. In 2007, he traveled to Tarim, Yemen, where he spent nine years studying the Islamic sciences on a one-to-one basis under the foremost scholars of the Ribaat, Tarim, with a main specialization and focus on Shafi’i fiqh. In early 2016, he moved to Amman, Jordan, where he continues advanced studies in a range of Islamic sciences, as well as teaching. Jamir is a qualified homeopath.