Answered by Shaykh Jamir Meah
Question: Assalamu alaykum
I have a girlfriend and we have decided that we would do anything but real sex. So recently when we were together I was laying on her naked and my genital penetrated inside her though none of us had previous intention of doing that.
Did I commit zina? Is anal sex zina?
Answer: Assalam ‘alaykum. Thank you for writing into us.
The basic legal definition of zina (illicit sexual intercourse) is ‘The entrance of an adult male’s penis in the vagina or anal hole [male or female] of a person who is unlawful to him.’
The above legal definition is found, with more or less the same wording, in all major legal works in all schools of law. Given this, the act of zina in the specific situation you have described would still come under the general rubric of ‘zina’, even if accidental.
You can also see from this definition that anal intercourse is also considered zina, and indeed, is one of the worst of sins, of which the Prophet ﷺ said, ‘Whoever engages in sexual intercourse with a menstruating woman, or a woman in her anus, or consults a soothsayer, then he has disbelieved in what was revealed to Muhammad.’ [Jami’ al Tirmidhi]
Hovering around the Haram
Despite my sincere concern for you both, I must make my words direct: you have made two grave mistakes, firstly, your acts of doing everything other than zina is an enormity and a grave sin in itself, and secondly, you cannot expect to carry on the way you both have and then not expect something to happen. This type of behaviour is akin to a person who frequently walks around the edge of a large, deep, hole merely for fun, and then panics when he falls in one day.
Allah Most High has commanded us to keep away from going anywhere near unlawful relationships, ‘And approach not fornication; surely it is an indecency, and evil as a way’ [17:32]. ‘Approach’ means looking, speaking, touching etc. The verse is there to warn us that doing these things will inevitably lead to fornification.
If you truly care for one another, then you have two choices:
1. Immediately stop what you are doing and end all communications with each other.
2. Immediately stop what you are doing and get married.
Either way, you both must stop any form of contact from now on.
I urge you, along with cutting off all relations with each other, to make sincere tawba for not just what has happened, but everything done together.
Be sincere in your repentance, resolve not to return to any of the sins, protect yourselves by not speaking to anyone about your relationship, and insha’Allah Allah will turn you away from what is reprehensible to that which He loves and is beneficial to you both.
[Shaykh] Jamir Meah
Shaykh Jamir Meah grew up in Hampstead, London. In 2007, he traveled to Tarim, Yemen, where he spent nine years studying the Islamic sciences on a one-to-one basis under the foremost scholars of the Ribaat, Tarim, with a main specialization and focus on Shafi’i fiqh. In early 2016, he moved to Amman, Jordan, where he continues advanced studies in a range of Islamic sciences, as well as teaching. Jamir is a qualified homeopath.