Is the Intention the Only Consideration in an Unclear Divorce?

Answered by Shaykh Irshaad Sedick

Question 

Is the intention the only consideration to determine the validity of an allusive divorce? Does the context or situation in which words are said matter?

During fights between a husband and wife, he used to say to her, “our relationship is over/ finished, call your parents, we should decide about our marriage, things are not okay in our married life, this relationship is not working, better to quit, etc.”

However, whenever the wife asked about his intention, he said he never intended to divorce, now the wife is worried about what happens if he did not intend to divorce, but there was discussion of separation/ divorce.

Answer

In the Name of Allah, the Most Merciful and Compassionate.

May Allah guide every dimension of our lives to that which pleases Him.

Words are held sacred in Islam, so believers should always take care to guard their tongues. Per your description, no divorce has occurred because no explicit words of divorce were uttered and the husband claims not to have intended divorce, and Allah knows best.

Plain Words of Divorce

The words that effect a divorce may be plain or allusive. Plain words effect divorce whether one intends it or not, while allusive words do not effect it unless one intends divorce thereby.

Using plain words to effect a divorce means expressly pronouncing the word divorce (in any language) or terms derived from it. When the husband says: “I divorce you” or “You are divorced,” the wife is immediately divorced whether he has made the intention.

In the rulings below, expressions such as “the wife is divorced” or “the divorce is effected” mean just one of the three times necessary to finalize it, unless the husband intends a two or threefold divorce or repeats the words three times. [ibid.]

Allusive Words of Divorce

Using allusive words to effect a divorce includes:

• the husband’s saying, “You are now alone,” “You are free,” “You are separated,” “You are parted,” “You are no longer lawful to me,” “Rejoin your kin,” “You are footloose,” and the like.
• his saying, “I am divorced from you.”
• or when he commissions the wife to pronounce the divorce, and she says, “You are divorced.”
• when someone asks the husband. “Do you have a wife?” He says, “No.”
• or when the husband writes words that effect the divorce, whether able or unable to speak at the time of writing, whether he is present or absent, or whether he writes in plain or allusive words.

When one intends divorce by any of the above, the words effect it, but if one does not, they do not. [ibid.]

I pray this is of benefit and that Allah guides us all.

[Shaykh] Irshaad Sedick
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani