How Do I Cope With Intense Emotions in Borderline Personality Disorder?
Answered by Shaykh Abdul-Rahim Reasat
Question
I have borderline personality disorder and struggle with self-harm urges, despite doing regular prayers, reading the Quran, and dhikr. Is my iman weak? Am I a bad Muslim?
Answer
In the Name of Allah, Most Merciful and Compassionate.
All praise belongs to Allah, Lord of all beings, and may blessings and peace be upon our master Muhammad (Allah bless him and give him peace).
My dear sister, Allah bless you and give you ease and well-being.
No, I don’t think your iman is weak at all. For you to regularly perform acts of worship and turn to Allah for help is not a sign of weak iman. It’s a sign that you have a healthy relationship with Allah.
If you fall short or make mistakes, Allah has given you the door of repentance. Each time you return to Him sincerely, you draw closer, not further away.
You are facing a test. Every test a believer faces carries good in it. Allah shapes each moment for your benefit, even when it is hard to see.
The Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) said: “I am amazed at the affair of the believer. Everything Allah has decreed for him is what is best for him.” [Ahmad]
Remember this hadith. Allah wants to give you a high place in Paradise. Many of the greatest rewards go to those who reach them through patience with hardship, not only through acts of worship.
Keep seeking professional help for your condition. Worship brings calm and steadiness in hard times, but Allah also calls us to use the means He has given for healing. Reach out to a doctor or therapist, and ask Allah for ease and well-being.
May Allah facilitate all that is good for you in this life and give you tremendous rewards and closeness in the next life. Ameen.
And Allah knows best.
[Shaykh] Abdul-Rahim Reasat
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Shaykh Abdul-Rahim Reasat began studying Arabic Grammar and Morphology whilst studying for a degree in English and History. After graduating, He traveled to Damascus and studied Arabic, Hanafi Fiqh, Usul al-Fiqh, Theology, and Logic with Shaykh Adnan Darwish, Shaykh ‘Abd al-Rahman Arjan al-Binsawi, Shaykh Husayn Darwish, Shaykh Muhammad Darwish, the late Shaykh Rashad Shams, and others. He then moved to Amman to continue his studies in those fields, as well as in Tafsir, Quranic Sciences, Hadith Methodology and Commentary, Prophetic Biography, Prophetic Perfections and Traits, Rhetoric, Arabic Literature, and Tajwid. His teachers include Shaykh Ali Hani, Dr. Hamza al-Bakri, Dr Salah Abu al-Hajj, Dr Mansur Abu Zina, Shaykh Ahmad Hasanat, Shaykh Ahmad Jammal, and others.
