How Does Islam View Cultural Customs That Burden the Bride’s Family?

Answered by Shaykh Irshaad Sedick

Question

What is the ruling on the custom requiring the bride’s family to provide a house for the groom, and on dividing the daughter’s inheritance only after she receives the house and jewelry?

Answer

In the Name of Allah, the Most Merciful and Compassionate.

May Allah alleviate our difficulties and guide us to what pleases Him. Amin.

The groom is duty-bound to provide for his wife, and inheritance must be distributed as Allah has legislated. Customs that contradict these principles should be abandoned. Voluntary generosity is rewarded, but compulsion and conditions that override Sacred Law are impermissible. And Allah knows best.

Unaligned Customs

According to Sacred Law, the custom described does not conform to Islamic teachings. In Islam, the husband is responsible for providing the mahr (dower) as a right of the bride, and he is obligated to support the household’s basic needs such as shelter, food, and clothing. These are his responsibilities and not those of the bride’s family. To require the bride’s parents to supply a house or jewelry before their daughter can inherit is, therefore, against Sacred Law. [Nawawi, Minhaj al-Talibin]

Allah Most High says:

“Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has given the one more (strength) than the other, and because they support them from their means.” [Quran, 4:34]

This verse establishes that the husband must maintain his wife, not her family.

Inheritance Matters

Inheritance is a divine apportionment determined by Allah Himself in the Quran, and no person has the right to withhold, delay, or attach conditions to it. Forcing a daughter to wait until she receives a house or jewelry before receiving her rightful share is unlawful. The distribution of inheritance must be executed according to the explicit shares outlined in the Quran and cannot be altered by custom.

Practical Guidance

• Families should not make such customs binding, for they contradict Sacred Law and can cause undue hardship.
• If the bride’s family voluntarily wishes to gift their daughter or her husband a house or jewelry, this is permitted and even generous. Still, it must remain a free act of charity, not an obligation.
• Families should educate themselves on inheritance laws to honor Allah’s command and prevent injustice.

Shaykh Irshaad Sedick was raised in South Africa in a traditional Muslim family. He graduated from Dar al-Ulum al-Arabiyyah al-Islamiyyah in Strand, Western Cape, under the guidance of the late world-renowned scholar Shaykh Taha Karaan (Allah have mercy on him), where he taught.

Shaykh Irshaad received Ijaza from many luminaries of the Islamic world, including Shaykh Taha Karaan, Shaykh Muhammad Awama, Shaykh Muhammad Hasan Hitu, and Mawlana Abdul Hafeez Makki, among others.

He is the author of the text “The Musnad of Ahmad ibn Hanbal: A Hujjah or not?” He has been the Director of the Discover Islam Centre, and for six years, he has been the Khatib of Masjid Ar-Rashideen, Mowbray, Cape Town.

Shaykh Irshaad has fifteen years of teaching experience at some of the leading Islamic institutes in Cape Town. He is currently building an Islamic podcast, education, and media platform called ‘Isnad Academy’ and has completed his Master’s degree in the study of Islam at the University of Johannesburg. He has a keen interest in healthy Prophetic living and fitness.