Should I Attend the Funeral or the Walima?

Answered by Mawlana Ilyas Patel

Question

My wife’s cousin was to marry a student of mine on a certain day, and everyone expected me to attend. Two days earlier, my cousin’s grandmother and her friend died. I brought the body home before the funeral in her hometown.

The funeral coincided with the marriage, causing conflict. I felt I should attend the funeral and skip the nikah, attending the walima the next day.

Some in-laws disagreed, and my family expected me at the funeral. Who has a greater right? Is my decision correct? How does Sharia guide this?

Answer

In the Name of Allah, the Most Merciful and Compassionate

The funeral is more immediate and serious than attending the nikah, as you had another day to recompense and attend the celebration the next day by attending the walima.

Wise Decision

You had to choose between a communal obligation, which was more important because of the relationship, and a sunnah attendance at a nikah ceremony, for which you had an alternative day to make up.

Islamically, choosing to attend the funeral was a wise and reasonable decision.

Attending the funeral was a one-time, crucial moment, the only time you could participate in the actual grief.

Also, you were involved in transporting the body and supporting the arrangements, which increases your moral responsibility and family expectations.

As for the wedding celebration and family happiness, they are meant to continue and are not a one-time event, especially since you had the walima to compensate for the missed day.

Accepting a Walima Invitation

‘Abd Allah ibn Umar (Allah be pleased with him) narrates that the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) said: “If one of you is invited to a wedding banquet (walima), then he must accept the invitation.” [Bukhari]

Funeral Prayer

The funeral prayer (janaza) is a communal obligation (fard al-kifaya) upon believers after a Muslim’s death. If some Muslims perform the funeral, others are absolved.
[ ‘Ala’ al-Din ‘Abidin, al-Hadiyya al-‘Ala’iyya]

Obligation (fard) takes Precedence Over a Recommended Act (sunna)

The principle is that an obligation (fard) takes precedence over a recommended act (sunna), especially when the recommended act has an alternative.

Also, it would be helpful to communicate the reason to the in-laws graciously.

And Allah knows best.

[Mawlana] Ilyas Patel
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

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Mawlana Ilyas Patel has received traditional education in various countries. He started his schooling in the UK and completed his hifz of the Quran in India. After that, he joined an Islamic seminary in the UK, where he studied secular and Aalimiyya sciences. Later, he traveled to Karachi, Pakistan, and other Middle Eastern countries to further his education. Mawlana has served as an Imam in the Republic of Ireland for several years and taught the Quran and other Islamic sciences to both children and adults. He also worked as a teacher and librarian at a local Islamic seminary in the UK for 12 years. Presently, he lives in the UK with his wife and is interested in books and gardening.