Can You Give Some Tips on Not Oversharing or Talking Too Much?

Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad

Question

Can you give some tips on not oversharing or talking too much?

Answer

Thank you for your question. May Allah reward you for bringing this great matter to our attention, as one’s speech is such a weighty thing on Judgment day.

Restraint

On the authority of Muadh bin Jabal (may Allah be pleased with him), who said:

“I said, ‘O Messenger of Allah, tell me of an act which will take me into Paradise and will keep me away from the Hellfire.’

He (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, ‘You have asked me about a great matter, yet it is easy for him for whom Allah makes it easy: worship Allah, without associating any partners with Him; establish the prayer; pay the zakat; fast in Ramadan; and make the pilgrimage to the House.’

Then he (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, ‘Shall I not guide you towards the means of goodness? Fasting is a shield; charity wipes away sin as water extinguishes fire; and the praying of a man in the depths of the night.’

Then he (Allah bless him and give him peace) recited: ‘(Those) who forsake their beds, to invoke their Lord in fear and hope, and they spend (charity in Allah’s cause) out of what We have bestowed on them. No person knows what is kept hidden for them of joy as a reward for what they used to do.’ [Quran, 32:16-17]

Then he (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, ‘Shall I not inform you of the head of the matter, its pillar and its peak?’ I said, ‘Yes, O Messenger of Allah.’ He (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, ‘The head of the matter is Islam, its pillar is the prayer, and its peak is jihad.’

Then he (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, ‘Shall I not tell you of the foundation of all of that?’ I said, ‘Yes, O Messenger of Allah.’ So he took hold of his tongue and said, ‘Restrain this.’ I said, ‘O Prophet of Allah, will we be taken to account for what we say with it?’ He (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, ‘May your mother be bereaved of you, O Muadh! Is there anything that throws people into the Hellfire upon their faces — or: on their noses — except the harvests of their tongues?’” [Tirmidhi]

Please see these links for excellent details on how to control your tongue:
Characteristics to be Adopted: Controlling the Tongue – Imam Zaid Shakir
Adab 11: The Proprieties of Speech
5 Ways to Stop Talking So Much

May Allah give you the best of this world and the next.
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria for two years where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, tafsir, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Masters in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She later moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.