How Can I Avoid Fornication When I Feel Like There Is No Other Choice?

Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad

Question

I can’t escape fornication. I will get married in 10 years, but I can’t do it now for several reasons. I will go abroad to study and start my business where fornication is very common because the economies of Muslim countries are terrible. I tried everything from fasting to dua. Masturbation no longer helps. 

Please give me real applicable advice!

Answer

Thank you for your question. I am sorry that you feel like there is no other way out, but I guarantee you that there is more strength in you than you know.

Changing Yourself

It is possible to change yourself, but you have to be proactive and seek Allah’s help. You may need a rude awakening to take this seriously, but many before you have stopped and many after you, will too, by the grace of Allah. Try these steps:

  • Sign up to Purify Your Gaze. This is a safe space for Muslims who are struggling with various forms of sex addiction. You are not alone in this and there are professionals who can help you.
  • Keep an eye out for triggers. If certain things on media, TV, or certain times of the day, or certain places that you pass by, trigger these behaviors, start cutting them out.
  • What kind of company do you keep? If you find that some of your friends encourage your bad habits, find new God-fearing friends, or spend more time in the mosque, or even alone.

Turn to Allah

Finally, your sincere supplications are key. A person’s sins can render one more repentant, broken-hearted, impoverished, and more sincere in their repentance. Pray your prayers on time, and the Prayer of Need to kickstart your transformation. Also, see the hadith below about Allah’s eagerness to respond to a slave’s supplication. So ask to overcome this, because He loves to be asked.

The Reality and Etiquettes of Supplication: A Reader
Sincere Repentance from Zina
How Do I Stop Committing Zina?

The Prophet (may Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “When half of the night or two-thirds of it is over, Allah (the Blessed and the Exalted) descends to the lowest heaven and says: ‘Is there any beggar so that he be given? Is there any supplicator so that he be answered? Is there any beggar of forgiveness so that he be forgiven?‘ (And Allah continues saying it) till it is daybreak.“ [Muslim]

May Allah give you the best of this world and the next.

[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad 
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria, for two years, where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, Tafseer, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Master’s in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan, where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She recently moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.