As a Woman, Can I Continue to Live with the Woman I Love without Being Intimate?
Answered by Ustada Shazia Ahmad
Question
I am a female and I am trying to find peace with my emotional needs to be with a woman. I know this is a very controversial topic but this love is what led me to know God and to come back to Islam. I wish I was a man but I don’t want to object to how God created me. What do you think about two women living together without having sex? I have sinned in the past five years in different ways and moved to the West three years ago. Now I intend to live more aligned with my spirituality and to teach this woman about Islam and get her to be a Muslim.
Answer
Wanting to be male
The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “He is successful who has accepted Islam, who has been provided with sufficient for his want and been made contented by Allah with what He has given him.” [Muslim] I pray that you find contentment in how Allah has created you and that you not focus on what you are but on how you can help the nation of Muhammad (Allah bless him and give him peace).
It is permissible to live alone, as well as live with a friend of the same gender. However, in your case, there was an intimate relationship, and therefore attraction. Due to this past, you should eliminate any risk of temptation, and no longer live with her. Call her to Islam, give her books, and teach her what you can. You may both continue to be friends as long as there is no lust or fear of an illicit relationship. I pray that you find what you seek and spread that goodness to others.
And remember this most important hadith when ending a relationship for the sake of Allah: Abu Qatada (Allah be pleased with him) reported that the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “Verily, you will never leave anything for the sake of Allah Most High but that Allah will replace it with something better for you.” [Musnad of Ahmad]
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[Ustada] Shazia Ahmad
Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria for two years where she studied aqida, fiqh, tajweed, tafsir, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Masters in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She later moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.
