Can My Father Stop Seeing My Sister Because She Moved In With a Man?
Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad
Question
My sister has moved out and has moved in with a man when she told my father it was a woman. She has a boyfriend who is not the man she lives with. When we found out, my father told her to move back home, as he never approved of her leaving anyway, or to find another living situation with only females or by herself. He says he will not see her again if she doesn’t change it. Is he allowed to do this? How should we proceed?
Answer
Thank you for your question. I empathize with your frustration and sadness at your sister’s actions, and I pray that she finds guidance and that the family bonds also become more robust.
Living with a man
Your father is correct that living with a non-mahram man is not permissible in Islam. She should fear Allah, obey her father and seek to change this situation, but I feel that her decision may have been driven by years of pain and a lack of religious inspiration. If she is hardened to this point, there is not much that the family can do. Nagging her can make her more rebellious, so the best thing, for now, is to rekindle your bond with your sister and not speak of her disobedience. Keep this up until she feel close to the family again, and out of love, respect and understanding, she may start to change her life. Constantly pray for her.
Please these links for more tips:
Should I Maintain Ties With Family Who Openly Sin or Shun Them?
How Can I Advise My Non-Practicing Sibling?
Ties of kinship
It is not permissible to cut ties of kinship over this matter. Your father should not threaten to cut her off, rather he should take the road of mercy and do everything positive in his power to help her change. Instead of threats, anger, and ultimatums, the family should try bonding, talking, listening, giving gifts, and spending more time with her.
Please more details here:
Obeying One’s Parents and Maintaining Ties of Kinship
Maintaining Family Ties & Obeying Parents
What is the Ruling of Maintaining Family Ties?
Turn to Allah
Fervent supplication and the Prayer of Need are one’s ultimate means to good, especially at the last third of the night. And one should take this opportunity to be thankful to Allah that one is not afflicted by disobedience as she is, and seek further guidance and deeper faith by refining and perfecting one’s own worship.
May Allah give you the best of this world and the next.
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria, for two years, where she studied Aqidah, Fiqh, Tajweed, Tafseer, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Master’s in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan, where she studied Fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She recently moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.
