How Can I Tell My Parents That I Want To Marry a Potential Convert?


Question: I am in a relationship with a Hindu man for a year, and now he is interested in Islam and ready to convert to Islam and practice. I have told my mother about this, and she says that this marriage can not happen because his parents are still Hindu. Although we live in Canada and his parents are in India, they have no plan to come here. We want to marry, but my parents are not accepting. What can I do?
Answer:Assalamu alaykum,

Thank you for your question. I do sincerely empathize with your plight, and I pray that your mother can come to a compromise with you. His not being born Muslim is not a reason to reject him. Whatever happens, you need to be patient and submit to Allah’s will.

 

Parents

You have not obtained your parent’s approval as yet, but you should sit down with them and find out how likely it is that they will change their minds. Let them meet, and he should tell them how serious he is.  I do not recommend that you keep in touch with him unless there is light at the end of the tunnel. You should certainly not stay in this relationship as you are. Either end it or plan a wedding. Be sure to make sincere repentance for the illicit relationship of the past year.

The reality is that there are two options in front of you. You might marry him or walk away. Either way, trust that Allah is giving you what is best for you, even if painful. The Messenger of Allah, Allah bless him and give him peace, said, “You will never leave something for the sake of Allah, but Allah will give you something better in return.” [Musnad of Ahmad]

 

Istikhara

As always, pray Istikhara: The Prayer of Seeking Guidance, and ask Allah to guide you about pursuing this man. It may come positive or negative, you should act accordingly. Keep your distance from during this time so that you are waiting for Allah’s guidance objectively. If you absolutely cannot convince your parents, even after waiting it out, cut him off cold turkey with an honest explanation. Time will make it heal, by the grace of Allah. May Allah give you the best of both worlds. Please see the following links for more information.

[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria for two years where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, tafseer, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Masters in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She recently moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.